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I Am the Monster Inside

My brain tells me to do bad things. It tells me to hurt people, to hurt the people who hurt me. It tells me I'll feel better after I punish them.

My brain tells me to hurt people who have never hurt me, to punish them for what they might do one day. It tells me I'll be saving someone else's life if I do.

My brain tells me to hurt people like I was hurt. It tells me that I will finally understand why. It tells me that if I understand why, my own pain will go away.

My brain tells lies.

My brain tells me that it was all my fault. It is my fault I got hurt, my fault I was beaten and raped, my fault I died once. It is my fault that the people around me suffer. my fault my parents got divorced when I was a kid. My fault my uncle killed himself. My fault my birth mother abandoned me.

My brain tells me I am the one who deserves to be destroyed.

I hope my brain is telling lies.

My brain tells me that I am the monster.
eyes eyes 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 14, 2007

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my heart tells me who I really am...it tells me that im living a lie.

my heart tells me i would kill myself before hurting anyone else and that it may come to that one day