For Me It's *had* A Mother Addicted To Drugs.

My mother was on drugs before, during && after I was born... I was just two when my mother stated she wanted to kill me... "If I can't have her, Then no one else can". My grandma got custody of me right then and there because my dad didn't want me. My mom was in and out of my life as I growing up. I remember begging her to stop doing drugs. I'd be a good girl, better in school -Heck I even try to give her my toys to stay... She would just pat my head and say... no no Louis and just leave... 

When I was 22 I found out my mother had cancer, to me because of our pass I didn't care if she died... Even thought she deserved it... I knew I wouldn't hold any feeling because of all the stress she had put me through... I was very wrong tho. I cared more then even... Its painful to even think about it. But the even sadder part is she was doing drugs on her death bed... didn't put the pipe down until she couldn't hold it anymore... 

So all I can stay to anyone else out there... You need to find some kind of true peace with your mother... because just saying you don't care isn't. && when or if she dies you wont be at peace with yourself and it will make your journey of recover a much longer and tough one. 
MysticBeauty MysticBeauty
31-35, F
1 Response Jun 30, 2011

Very good advice, I wish I had the chance to make my peace.

Wow. Unbelievably honest and enlightening. Thanks for sharing this.