I Love My Mother But She Thinks She Is Always Right And Talks **** On My Brothers And I

I am a 47 yr old woman, originally from Kansas City, never had children and was a complete free spirit!  I moved to Maui, HI many years ago and had a fruitful, happy life there until I became ill from a spider bite.  I was in a coma and my 66 yr old mother came to "fetch" me and I agreed to move back to Kansas City.  Since then, she has been, on the one hand, very loving, and on the other hand very controlling!.  She gossips about me and two of my three brothers.  My oldest brother has been married for 22 years w/ two young children, just lost his home, wife is a challange, but they are cohesive.  My younger bro, has had 4 kids by 4 mommy's and is trying to do his best to clean up his mess having been clean from drugs for 5 yrs now, my baby bro has been a model of a man and she can't say crap about him.  My point in this post is that I moved away many years ago and always heard my mother talked trash on my brothers, I always defended her to them.  Now, however, she is talking trash on me as well as the other two and I have heard her do it.  If she  will do it with you she will do it to you.  She did.  I feel so very betrayed and angry.  I worked my *** off all my life to have a good life, fly my family and friends to Maui and give/loan money whenever needed.  Now that I am under her thumb, she is doing me the same way.  I wish she comprehended the way her words affect us and the way her "put downs" to mutual family/friends affect us as well.  I have never felt shame regarding my life.  Now, however, I feel as though she sees me as somehow less than and acts extremely two-faced.  I don't want to hate her, but as I see how she behaves, both towards myself and my two brothers, I am finding it more and more difficult to be around her.  My issue is that financially, I can't "jump" as I am still recovering and the longer I watch her behave this way the more I feel distain for her.  Any thoughts on how to cope with my growing resentment?
Vixpal Vixpal
46-50
May 14, 2012