OMG, I'm so glad I found this group. I've been feeling like nobody in the world can understand how crazy my mother makes me with her passive aggressiveness.
Once again, she has sabotaged a special day and then refused to take responsibility. I finally wrote her a letter last week baring my soul to her, detailing everything she has done to hurt me, ruin important days, year after year; not wanting to spend time with me; having work be more important to her than I am, but she has flat out told me, "I don't talk about things, I pretend they didn't happen" so I don't ever have recourse to deal with any issue. So I write this letter because I couldn't keep it in any more ... what did I get back? A non-apology apology. "I have never done anything intentionally to hurt you, and I'm sorry for 'whatever I've done' that hurt you. I had a nice time."
Uh, okay. Can't figure out what you've done, can you? Try line paragraphs 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, or 8. All pretty clear. She could not have put less effort or insight into it if it were a census report.
To make matters worse, my sister, who walks on water, sticks her nose in by posting "I love my mom" messages on facebook, obviously pointed at me as if to say "Just tell mom you love her, everything will be fine." I just want to scream. I'm so depressed and so done with it all I don't even know how to express it.
I know this isn't very eloquent, but I think I used up most of my energy on the letter. Maybe I can post that here some time.
Thanks for letting me vent.