Crazymaking

I'm so sorry to hear that all of you have similar problems, but it's comforting to know that other people understand what I'm going through. It's been 3 years since I wrote this post and absolutely nothing has changed.

We'll, I don't speak to her as much, and we don't fight as much because I don't take the bait as much, but the older I get the more understanding I have of just how screwed up she has made my life because of this. After I have been manipulated by her, I feel like a battered woman. And now she is ill, she is old, which puts that much more pressure on me to have contact with her. I'm afraid that I, myself, am going to get seriously ill because I'm just so disgusted with dealing with the abuse. That's what it is, abuse.

I understand that it's subconscious, but there is no conscious effort to change anything when I tell her how hurt I am. I so wish there were an actual support group or something, because I think that no one can possibly know what this is like unless they have lived through it.

I agree. My mother can hold a grudge like no other. When I tried telling her how I really feel, she actually laughed at me and turned herself into the victim by saying, "oh and this is my fault?". I get so angry after talking to her...is it worth it?

Do we all have the same mother? Lol! I could of wrote every word I just read here... Thanks for helping me confirm what I thought, that is that I, too, have a passive aggressive mother...

When I try to talk to my mother about things she did that hurt me she either says that whatever it was didn't happen, or it was my fault. She refuses to take responsibility for the things that occurred. She constantly lies to me, and when I confront her she gets all indignant and says are you calling me a liar, hangs up on me, and then won't speak to me.

Last time she apologized she said I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm ******* sorry and hung up. Occasionally she will give a non hostile apology, but it's the kind of sorry that someone who bumps into you in the grocery store would say. I have tried to find out what happened to her growing up to try to find out why she is so irresponsible, etc. I thought this might help me to be more understanding and forgiving, but she gives me nothing.