The Fun Just Gets More Fun. Yay.

Here's what my day was like yesterday.

I couldn't sleep the night before. Lately I've been suffering from insomnia, and I ended up staying awake until 4:30am. And it was then that the phone rang. One of my dispatchers was calling to find out if I wanted to work a 12 hour shift at a law firm. Heck, yeah! In order to be there at 7 am, I had to be on the buss by 5:30. So I finished playing the computer game I had in bed with me, got up, quickly pulled together a lunch, go dressed, did my hair (which I took way too much time on) and went out the door. I walked 3 blocks to the bus stop, then took the bus downtown, Got on the PATH train into Manhattan... and the phone rang again. It was my dispatcher, telling me the job was cancelled.

I went into Manhattan anyway. Lately I've been feeling exhausted. Money is nonexistent and I'm worrying ing about eviction, and my narcissistic mother had a stroke recently. My father also had a stroke and is in rehab. Plus, I haven't seen my fiance in months. Lately, despite meds (which its been hard to take regularly because I del so tired and overwhelmed, I've felt suicidal - again. But I went to Starbucks, spent money on coffee I couldn't afford, and started calling my various dispatchers to tell them I was in Manhattan and ready to work. I took out my iPad and started looking for jobs that are full time and while I was doing that, I got called in for a 9am job. Not only that, it was at my favorite law firm. So off I go, and eventually I settle in and YAY!, there's stuff to proofread.

But yesterday was the day my mother was getting moved from rehab to home. So I called her, making sure to emotionally detach myself. Which was good, because it was whine, whine, whine about how she hadn't been picked up yet and she wanted to go home (because everybody should just drop everything in their lives to attend to Princess Poopypants, which is what my fiance calls her). she told me she'd been given a walker an a portable toilet, but she disdainfully claimed she didn't need the toilet 'because [she's] fine.' Mind you, she is now wearing diapers and is doing nos. 1 and 2 all the time. She told me my cousin's wife was taking her home, and then she asked me if I was coming down for Christmas. I had planned to try, but I didn't know until yesterday morning that Christmas is on a Tuesday, and law firms don't shut down for holidays. So that means, no visit to Mommy for me. (If Mommy gave me the money to come down, it would be easy, and she has oodles of it. But she doesn't want to part with any more of it, so that's that. Fine by me.)

But before she called, I got a call from her new health care provider. It seems that the Princess will be getting in-home therapy 4-5 days a week. This should be fun. I'm waiting to see how long it takes before the therapist gets sick of her, since the Princess isn't going to do as she's told anyway. I explained to the guy on the phone that the Princess has been secretly smoking, driving even though she can't see, and eating like a hog even though she has diabetes. I must admit that this was the best part of my day, with the exception of the fabulous espresso that I made from the office espresso machine (yum! real espresso!). He told me the clinician would keep all of that in mind, and I pictured the Princess throwing a fit when the clinician ferrets out all her little hidden goodies, and possibly even removes her car keys.

Nut the fun wasn't over yet, because I checked my email, and there was a note from my step-mom, who is an awesome person, but still hasn't accepted that she married a monster. Daddo is in rehab and the doctors won't let him go home because he's been diagnosed with Alheimer's (funny, I figured that out when his wife told me months ago he was seeing things; I suspect he's ha's had Alzheimer's for quite a while now, but no one could tell because being nuts is part of his nature), and the doctor is afraid he'll wander off without round the clock care. My step-mom works, and can't afford a full-time nurse, and because Daddo is now full-blown gaga, he no longer qualifies for adult day care. He pulled the phone out of the wall at the rehab the other day, keeps telling his nurses that he's Robert Johnson. and tried to roll his wheelchair out the fire exit because he, too, wants to go home.

My father's roommate told my step-mom that he thinks my father is playing mindgames with the nurses. DUH! Of course he is. My father is f---ing evil. His wife is worried that the nurses are not washing him or being nice to him, even though she says he's perfectly clean. When he tried the stunt in the wheelchair, they kept him by the nurse's station all night to make sure he didn't get away. And he keeps begging the nurses for cigarettes and money, when he's not driving them insane.

I have a solution, but his wife didn't like it. It's called 'lock him in a VA Hospital and be glad you got away with some of your sanity intact, because he's Satan Incarnate.' But no, she misses Satan and wants him to come home so she can be a good Christian martyr. She was shocked that he ripped the phone out of the wall in rehab, and even more shocked when I laughed and said that was a habit for him. That he'd done it when I was a teenager too, to keep us from calling the police on him. No, what's upsetting her is that he no longer knows who she is, and keeps calling her by my mother's name, and saying that he expects me to visit him any minute. And I will visit him, right after he gets popped in a casket. The interesting part is that when he speaks to her like she's my mother, he tells her what to do. So everything is like old times. Quite frankly, I don't know why she's so shocked. My father married her so he could have someone to f--k occasionally, and because he wanted a victim and housekeeper. Hiring prostitutes is iffy, housekeepers and cooks cost too much, and professional submissives won't put up with what he likes to dish out. It's so much cheaper to go to the Philippines and 'buy' a wife who won't talk back, even when it's obvious that you don't love her.

I'm tired. I'm looking for work. I have to call the VA to see if they have room for Daddo. I have to speak with my mother's clinician today. I have to get a refill on my own meds. My fiance is working this weekend. I'm thinking of doing phone sex as a part-time job. I'm tired, and lonely and angry that my aunt is 'happy' that I'm making phone calls for my mother and father. I don't want to. I want both of them to die. Right now. Today. Their deaths would make my life, and everyone else's, better in every way.
mbuch mbuch
1 Response Nov 30, 2012

You definitely need to get immediate part-time work if your hours are this unreliable. Worry for your own well being first, especially if everyone else is giving you so much stress on top of the threat of eviction. Phone sex is an option, but consider all other options first, especially if you feel like you're "settling". I'm not sure what your job and degree is, but loking for full-time work is probably a good idea in your financial situation. Never stop looking. You'll find something eventually. Good luck!

Thanks for your response. Work has been getting better - I worked 5 days this week. I'm also looking for something more permanent. Currently I work as a proofreader. I'm trying to find an editing job, as they pay more and are less humiliating.

Haha, I wish you well. Editors are needed for quite a few things, but the jobs can be hard to find.