I Need a Job

I need a reason to get up in the mornings.

I need people to actually notice whether I get out of bed or not.

I need a reason to go to bed before three in the morning.

I need to feel necessary.

I need contact with people again.

I need health insurance so that I can finally get medications, contacts, etc. again.

I need money, so that my family can eat even on the weeks we can't go to the food bank.

 

And all of that comes from getting a job. So that's the only thing I need right now.

garbanzobean garbanzobean
22-25, F
7 Responses Mar 12, 2009

I am Jon314. Everything that you said in your post is what I feel; except the last sentence. I haven't had to go to a food-bank and I do not have a family. <br />
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I used to have a great paying job. I lived alone, therefore, I never spent too much money. I don't have a family. I don't even have friends. I wake-up everyday in my apartment alone - disappointed that I awoke. I go to sleep every night with the hope that I will die. <br />
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The mornings are the toughest for me. I have to wait before returning to bed. I have no purpose. I have no fight left in me to survive. Because I lived below my means, I had savings. After nine months of being unemployed, the savings are all gone. <br />
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I wake-up in the morning without purpose. I go through the routine of my day without purpose. I try to soothe myself with favorite movies and older television shows - in the hope to induce a laugh. I want some pleasure out of my final days. I am anhedonic. <br />
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We are so disconnected as a People. I live in a box, called "an apartment." I never meet my neighbors. I only rarely see them in-passing, awkwardly in the hallways. We each sit in our boxes, alone. We watch our televisions, or use the internet. We sit alone and lonely. We are afraid of one another. We are afraid of contact with one another. <br />
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I need a reason to get out of bed. <br />
I need someone to care if I do get out of bed.<br />
I need someone to celebrate with, if I do get a job.<br />
I need someone to laugh with and cry with and share.<br />
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I have no one and none of these needs are fulfilled. <br />
I am a void.

I am out of work, too, as are many at this time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I can't drive, so I have to limit everything to what I can walk to. All the temp agency things I've found are in places too far to walk to. Thanks for the suggestion though.

I say.. keep up with school!! Thats what I am doing now, since I can't find a job, I am going back to school.

Thank you both! I've already looked everywhere I can walk to, the next step is try to find a free car and driving lessons or move in with a friend a few states away and give up on my schooling.

I know how you feel! I moved to GA in July and transferred job locations to a pharmacy in GA. In November, the company I worked for decided to lay off people due to a law suit. They were going to get rid of this single mother of two but I decided to quit in order for her to save her job. When I did this, I thought I would get a job right away.... Well, I am still jobless! I try and try and try to get a job but no job in hiring that is in my range. I try for good jobs and bad jobs but nothing! I have worked since I was 15 and this is the first time I am worried.. I haven't even been able to afford insurance since 2003 and I was working! I don't even know what to do now! so, good luck to you!!! I hope all goes well!

That's so terrible, whenever I'm down, I've always known that there's someone worse off, I know it probably deosn't help you to hear that, but you just gave me a reason to remember how much I have to be grateful for.<br />
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I have two children to support on my own, and when I have strugled to find work, it puts so much more pressure on the whole situation to know there are others relying on you...<br />
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Sending good karma to you that a job comes your way... I hope you get your wish soon