My Reasons And Other Punishments

I hated myself and the world so much not only did I cut I made and still have other punishments:

I hardly ate still don't, I drank this special liquid instead.
Because of this I felt and feel weak and dizzy even a drink bottle feels heavy.

Sometimes I punch things until my hands bleed.

I cut myself.

I avoid everyone at school.

I try to hang myself, slash my veins, choke myself.

I punch myself to create huge bruises.

But my problems were and some still are here:

I stress over everything, every imperfection and embarrassment caused me stress.

I felt so depressed all the time, there isn't a point in living and never will be. We're all gonna die in the end why not now and save myself from the pain?

My family are horrible to me sometimes. This is 5 other people. They gang up on me, insult me and blame me.
My sister dragged me to her room and said I couldn't leave for a few hours. Die now carved into my leg.
My brother when he's mad hits me and makes me feel worthless.

Then there is a girl named Ashton. She attacked me. Spread rumours about me, I lost a lot of friends because of her. She caused me so much pain. I have a special word in my arm because of her 'ugly'.

Sometimes I just feel worthless, nobody loves me, nobody cares, maybe I deserve to die, maybe I should listen to all the death threats I've been given.

This one time I had a crush on a boy and I was with my friend and he came up to me and shouted in my face to stop liking him. The next day I was depressed the whole day, I didn't talk, didn't smile, then halfway through the day someone asked if I was alright I burst into tears and ran off. They then shouted at him and I felt so bad because it was my fault he was getting shouted at

I'm sure this isn't all but it's all I can type without bursting into tears over memories
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 13, 2013