Christmas Really Hurts

It's December. A time for Family, Joy, Laughter & Parties.

No it isn't.

It is a time for Endless tears.

I don't want it to be this way.

But it is.

My face should be melted where the tracks of tears flow; like the river which cuts its' path through the canyon.

I have family.

Or do I, if they don't claim me?

I want to laugh & dance at Christmas, but I sit here with a heart that has been broken so often, I wonder if the ''next time'' will be the last time.
If I cease to exist will someone then morn my passing.

How sad.

cheysghost cheysghost
56-60, F
2 Responses Dec 13, 2012

I know how you feel. I am like an orphan. Both parents are gone, and I was an only child. I have grown children, who have their own lives but not enough time for dad. My heart has been broken so often. But, I also know that life is worth living. I am raging against the dying of the light. Honestly, one of my best Christmas' was when I worked in a Muslim country. I will not be defined by family, nor by a holiday that has lost it's glitter. So, rage against that dying of the light, and simply live.

somewhere along the line, WE (or the generation before us) made our elders unimportant.....I think it DID start with my parents and we carried the torch without knowing WE pay the price of not being wanted.

Believe it or not you are loved and even though you dont feel it... there are those that care... it will get better and all will be good in time