I Don't Have A Parent, But My Wife Has MS I'm Worried About My Children

I’m very worried about my two daughters getting this terrible terrible disease although the data is not out there whether or not MS is hereditary or not ..There has been studies but nothing conclusive.

My wife and I have been together 42 years.. Married 38years … For 36 of those years my wife has had Multiple Sclerosis, just barely able to do anything for herself.. Simple tasks for most people are major accomplishments for her … I guess this is her life in Hell… mine also.. The last 10 years have been nothing but devastating for her in the hospital 6times 3 times in Intensive Care…Now she is quadriplegic, in and out of catatonic state and all this time I’m her caregiver…That is my hell, watching her suffer ……I have never physically cheated or thought of cheating up until his last year….I love her very much and would never leave her …I left a very good position as an Engineer for a large aerospace firm and retired to take care of her… Back 35 years ago she went blind due to optical neuritis ….for two years, she said she wanted to have a divorce ….I refused.

I change her catheter, take care of her wound care I give Medication through her IV pick. I Change her bedding, feed her when she can’t feed herself, wash her clothes, buy the groceries, clean the house transfer her on and off the toilet. Now change her colostomy Bag and apply her barrier every week…. Most of all make her comfortable…
intothenight2001 intothenight2001
61-65, M
6 Responses May 21, 2012

Hi, it is a big change but you might consider putting your family on Dr. Terry Wahls eating regime. Give your children and your wife a lot of good quality vitamin D3. An ounce of prevention and all that. I have MS and it works for me. You are an amazing person! I was primary caregiver for my Dad with Motor Neurone Disease and then my Mum who had dementia and then cancer. I send you all blessings. Remember to take respite where you can. It is essential for all of you.

Hi there
You are an amazing husband and and amazing person. This is a heart breaking story. My family is in the same position - I'm the daughter though, and my dad cares for my mum. Mum is about the same stage as your wife. Probably similar age too I'd say. Its beautiful that you have such concern for you daughters. I have worried over the years I might end up with the diagnosis. I just try to keep healthy and cross my fingers. My biggest stress though comes from the fact that my parents are determined to stay in their own home, and my mum won't even talk about catheters even though she's been incontinent for years, so we have to change her about 5 times a day. Now Dad's health is failing him too with cancer. I fear I will lose him before too long and we will be stuck in a very difficult situation with my mum in this house. I will have to leave my own little kids again and move in with her for a while I guess - as I have done whilst dad is sick. Because they have refused all these years to be proactive in getting into a place where there is support around, we are going to have to accept the first nursing home spot that becomes available. If its not a nice place I don't know how I will cope. I'm already not coping with the stress and worry of it. I guess the advice I want to give you regarding your daughters - as a daughter - is to think seriously consider and plan for how your wife will be cared for if something happens to you tomorrow. Maybe you've already done this, and if you have maybe you could give me some tips on how I can talk to my parents about it. I'm overwhelmed, I worry about my own children too.

Hey TattooedMissez<br />
<br />
Thanks for your kind words ...And if you need help in any way with problems concerning MS let me know I have 36 years of experience with caring for this disease.... let me know how you are making out from time to time....Walter

You are a wonderful husband for doing all that you do. I was diagnosed with MS last year, I've suspected I've had it, and have gotten worse, over the past 4 years. But I'm lucky enough to not require any assistive devices or care from anyone. However, I do have a great difficulty with walking very long, being too active, etc.<br />
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When I was first diagnosed and read all the terrible things that could happen, like your wife is experiencing, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I can't bare to think of him resenting me, wanting to leave me or cheat if I ever become that severely disabled....basically when I need him the most. He has sworn he's here for me, but I still have my doubts. <br />
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This is a good example of why I am pro-assisted suicide. I could never imagine living the way your wife does. It's absolutely heartbreaking. I do not want my husband or children to see me like that.<br />
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Please know that you are making her quality of life so much better for being so attentive and loving towards her.

I am so sorry to hear of your pain. <br />
Take comfort knowing that people like you are very rare and are admired for the courage and the perseverance that you have caring for your wife. <br />
You are a selfless man my friend and I take my hat off to you for being there for you poor wife, I am sure she appreciates it more that you can ever imagine!

Thanks for the kind comments and I enjoy both of you as friends I only wish for the pain and suffering in this world ends ....I can only dream that it will