[Story from A Lesbi Couple]

My partner has been experiencing relationship ocd ever since we have been together 2 and a half months back. it has been a pretty rough journey for the both of us especially on her who has been battling so much with her subconscious mind. She did not realize that she is suffering from Rocd only until 1 month ago.
Things only got slightly better for her after she discovered her Rocd issue, because deep inside her, she knows that her bad thoughts on our relationship are affected by her Rocd condition.
During this short journey of us together, there are many times we suggested and agreed to allow us remain as friends but my partner just can't help herself coming back to me.
Whenever she feels insecure of her thoughts and feelings, I hear from her frequently that she doesn't want to lose me (at times she would even break down - crying). But at the same time, she's unsure of how she feels towards me because she couldn't feel anything from her heart. She believes that love should be felt from the heart as well. And sometimes the thought of it, leaves her feeling headache.
I am really worried of her condition. And at the same time am worried for her happiness. Because of her Rocd issue, it kinda affects the way she thinks and feel.
Both of us don't know if she needs me for support only (she is comfortable in talking deep issues and sharing anything and everything with me) or is she afraid to lose me because unconsciously she actually do have feelings for me.

I am at a lost because I really do want her to be happy. It feels like to me I'm only bringing her endless pain and misery. Every night while she sleeps, she'd have nightmares on us - things that made her lose interest in me, comparing me with someone else, as well as doubting her love for me. Everyday there will be constant worrying, panic attacks and she has to reassure her feelings to me.

Both of us do not know if it's totally the fault of her Rocd or her actual feeling is also playing a part in there as well.

What is the best I can do for her? What could be the best for both of us? Suggestions and opinions of anyone with Rocd, or partners of someone with Rocd are welcome.

Also, I'd love to hear near similar experiences from you guys as well! :) Cheers.
eileenlingyl eileenlingyl
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

Hi is she still finding it hard? Rocd is hard the best thing she can do is battle through the anxiety and realise it's her ocd thoughts taking over her brain x