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5 Days On Since My Perm And Set

It is 5 days since I had my perm and set done and my hair is fantastic, so much better than the previous perms I have had done. My hair just falls into place.
It was a long afternoon getting it done though, we arrived at the hairdressers at 1.30 and we didn't leave until 5.45. Julia my hairdresser was great she looked after me so well and did a great job. From the moment I arrived to the moment I left she was brilliant, she put me totally at ease and made me feel as comfortable as she could. Obviously it is not that comfortable wearing a plastic gown, apron and cape for 4 hours especially when you are under the dryer. She did offer not to fit the apron front on the gown but the gown felt too loose without the apron ties around my waist.
The perm curlers were wound in really tight which fely good and when she did the roller set they too were wound in really tight. All in all I think I spent about 1 1/2 hours under the dryer but it was well worth it, really pleased with the result, the softer curls really show off my highlights. Julia will certainly be getting my future business.

jamespearce jamespearce 36-40, M 12 Responses Oct 19, 2011

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This was a comment to a comment and got lost so I moved it out.<br />
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A 'high maintenence' hairdo is intended to look good and make you feel good wearing it. You are obviously more in touch with your feminine side than most men. I think Rowena is just suggesting that since you have that level of openness, that you try to experience it all to see what works and doesn't work for you. I can understand your discomfort, as you describe it, but there are different types of perms that radically change the amount of time needed. Perhaps one of those could be tried. But the perm isn't the norm in the salon. Your set and combout are. I think she wants you, and perhaps your wife wants you, to embrace more of the pampering aspect. <br />
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Men, as a rule, have no idea what it takes to look good and maintain that look. It takes effort and putting up with a lot you would really rather not have to deal with, but you do it for 'the look'. Perms, highlights, waxing are not enjoyable, as a process. We do them for the results and put up with them for that reason. I absolutely love the bounce a perm gives my hair. I love the way my highlights set off my hairstyle. I love the feel of my perfectly smooth legs. But I don't enjoy the process that gives those things to me. You pay the price. <br />
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I'm with Rowena on another thing. You need to learn to do your own hair. It starts by watching closely in the mirror as Julia sets your hair and later as she combs it into your hairdo. Learn the set pattern she uses. Learn what she does to style it into your hairdo. Ask her about what she is doing and why. Perhaps, if there is time, she would let you set your hair at the salon with her guiding you through the process. Learning how to replicate the hairdo on your own is an important part of style maintenance. Doing it yourself will feel awkward at first, uncoordinated. Every woman that has set her hair has felt and gone through this. For some, it helps to do it in the bathroom in front of the mirror, but once you get beyond a certain point it is far easier to simply set it by feel without a mirror. I also agree with her that you should set it after every shower in which you wash your hair. That is the only way your hair will look the way it is intended and that you and Louise like. The only real exception to this are special occasion hair styles. Those are really high maintenance to wear daily. <br />
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As for the satin sleep cap or satin pillow case, those are to provide a slippery surface for your hair to slide across rather than catch in the weave. They leave your hairdo more undisturbed than sleeping on regular pillows. Though with the higher and higher thread count on linens these days, that is less of a problem. What a satin sleep cap also does is keep your awareness focused on your hair, as do mirrors. You shouldn't pass a mirror without checking to see if your hair still looks the way you think it should and if it doesn't, fix it! <br />
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I seem to have gotten long-winded. I'm sorry. I'm glad you enjoy your feminine hairdo. From the sounds of things, Louise enjoys the outcome, but also enjoys seeing you go through a distinctly feminine process (and seeing it and you in public) I think she really enjoys seeing you show off your feminine side to the world, as well as you knowing from personal experience what it takes to look like that. So, with an understanding wife that is actively encouraging you, why not add Rowena's nails to your look? She is right, longer nails make it much easier to set your own hair. They don't have to be talons, but a little length couldn't hurt, could it? Whatever comes up, do try to enjoy it!

James,<br />
I wish I could pluck up the courage to go to a hairdresers and have my hair permed, I have always wanted to try a perm but I have never had courage to book an appointment and have it done.<br />
A few years ago I did actually pluck up the courage and go and have some highlights put through my hair, unfortuately it was a disaster, the hairdresser had to colour it 3 times and even after that it wasn't great. <br />
I did find the highlighting process somewhat embarrassing, sitting under a dryer with a rubber cap on my head I found very embarrassing indeed. How do you find it, I am guessing that sitting with tiny curlers in your hair having it permed is no less embarrassing in fact probably more so.<br />
I keep thinking about asking my wife what she thinks but I am afraid that she would just laugh at me.

You can't live your life in fear. If this is something that you've always wanted to do then DO it! Make your dream your reality. Look, at worst you will have to put up with your wife bitching at you for a while. At best, it will open up communication between you. HOW it develops is up to you. Be honest with her that you've always wanted to try it. Back during the 80s, it would have been much easier as curly hair was in, hair bands were everywhere and men were getting perms. Now it is more unusual. Women have finally gotten off of the straight hair and have gone for curls, but perms haven't come back into vogue. So getting a perm is making a statement, especially for a man. Just don't be defensive about it. If you want a perm (or highlights or both) then REVEL in it! Tell her how it makes you feel. Tell her the process sucked but you really love the way your hair feels. Or tell her you loved the process of getting it done but aren't too sure about living with the result. But whatever you tell her, be honest about it. Let her know it meant something to you and that you hope she understands. Be vulnerable. Open up to her. Yes, should could laugh. It may be ridicule loosly disguised as laughter OR it could be nervous laughter because you completely surprised her and she didn't know how to respond. Whatever she does, turn it into a conversation. There isn't much you can do about permed hair except roll it and style it or cut it completely off. Either way she will have to come to terms with it, and so will you. I suggest you use it to further understanding between you.

Well, here I am again at the hairdressers having highlights done even though I previously said i would give highlighting my hair miss for a while. <br />
I told Lou that I was going give my hair a rest from highlighting for a while but she wasn't too pleased about the idea. So I asked Lou if she would make me an appointment at the hairdressers for a full head colour for this morning which she said she had done but when I arrived this morning and salon the receptionist said I was booked in for a full head colour and highlights, I didn't want to make a fuss so i have gone ahead with it, so I have had my colour done and I am just in the middle of having my highlights done, I am currently sat under the dryer with the bleach on.<br />
Julia says my hair is about ready for a re-perm so I think I will book that in for next week.

I don't like getting highlights done with the cap. The result just doesn't come out the way I'd like. If it is the cap that is bothering you then ask for the highlights using the foil method. There is a great deal of flexibility doing it that way, much more than with the cap. The hair is highlighted from the root instead of whatever hair comes through the hole in the cap. It can be very subtle or extremely chunky and in your face. For me, the foil method creates a better look. But what concerns me more is the multiple processing you are doing. At least your colors and your perm are booked apart. Two processes at a single session are about the max for most hair, but since your hair is hard to perm you may be able to get away with more. It seems your main concern is having your perm last. That being said, always do your color and highlights before getting your perm done. Do it flipped and the extra processing will weaken your perm. So, (I gotta ask) did you get your nails done too?

I know that using foils to highlight hair is a better method but I find myself in a bit of a difficult poisition regarding my hairdresser. The hairdressers where I go are rather old fashioned, Julia my stylist is brilliant at doing my perms and sets which is the main reason why I go there. When it comes to colours and highlights she is a bit behind the times, I have asked her about using foils but she said she prefers to use the cap and I have to honest I have never been dissapointed with the result. I don't want to go somewhere else to have highlights put in and then back to Julia for the perm, I think that would be quite insulting. I am quite happy to have it highlighted cap method, it just takes a long time because I am having to have a full head colour first followed by highlights which usually takes over 3 hours in total.
Anyway it is done now for 6 weeks, I have my perm to look forward to tomorrow and yes I am having a manicure done while I am there and also wax aswell.

Jamie,<br />
Did you manage to get your re-perm sorted, didn't you say you were going last thursday. If you did, did everything go well.<br />
It is my turn this afternoon, I have just arrived at the hairdressers for my 2.30 perm appointment, just waiting for my gown, then they can get started.

Jamie,<br />
Did you get sorted, how did the highlights come out. <br />
Sounds like your hairdresser is a real stickler for having you wear the right PPE, can't imagine many hairdressers bothering to change your gown from a nylon one to a plastic just to do your colour and highlights but all credit to her for doing things right.<br />
Did you get your perm appointment made for later this week.

My hair looked perfect after it was coloured, highlighted and then set. I have booked my perm appointment for Thursday afternoon/evening. Julia said that she will be keeping under the dryer for a lot longer this time to ensure the perm takes properly. You are right about Julia, she is very strict about wearing the right PPE for each process. For colours, highlights and perms she insists on clients wearing minimum a plastic gown and cape. With me she always puts me in a plastic gown with a plastic apron then a plastic cape. I have asked if I could take any of the PPE off once I am under the dryer but she refuses point blank.

I arrived for my setting appointment at 4.00 today. Julia was waiting for me, she got me gowned up and took straight over to the wash station, as she was washing my hair I mentioned to her that my perm seemed to be loosening quite a lot to say it was only 6 weeks since I had it done.<br />
Once she had finished shampooing we went my chair, she agreed that the perm did seem to be losing curl. She didn't seem to know what had caused the problem but she immediately offer to do a re-perm free of charge.<br />
She said that she would be able to fit me in next week if that was ok with me, I initially said yes but then I thought that my hair could really do with colouring before I have another perm.<br />
Julia agreed, and then asked what I was thinking having done with the colour, I need a full head colour to cover the grey then my usual highlights.<br />
Julia said she no other appointments this afternoon so if I had time she could do the colour now followed by a nice set, then I could still have my hair permed towards the end of next week.<br />
I said OK, Julia went off to get the necessary equipment for doing the colour and highlights she changed my gown from a nylon one which she uses for setting to a plastic one for colouring.<br />
That was just over a hour ago, the full head colour is done and now Julia has finished pulling my hair through the rubber highlighting cap and she is just about to start applying the bleach.<br />
I gues another hour and I should be nearly done.<br />
Then I can make my perm appointment for next week.

Rowena,<br />
Thank you for your reply, I am totally happy with the more feminine style which Julia acheived with my hair. It does take quite a bit of maintenance though to keep it looking good. Lou is setting my hair every 2 to 3 days and I have set up a weekly appointment with Julia to have a shampoo and set.<br />
The only down side is that I am a lttle disapointed with how the perm seems to be lasting, it is 6 weeks since I had my perm and already the curls are showing signs of softening. I am not sure whether this is due to the setting or whether the perm just didn't take well.<br />
I am going to mention it to Julia tomorrow when I go for my set.<br />
I kind have got used to having a perm now and I do relax during the process however I still get nervous pre-perm. I am not sure whether I will ever get to the point where I will enjoy the process simply because there are certain aspects of being permed which are quite uncomfortable i.e. sitting under the dryer wearing the plastic gown apron and cape, I know it is necessary but it can get quite uncomfortable after a while.<br />
Having said that, it is well worth it.

Well, between Louise and Julia, you have graduated into the world of high-maintenance! At least as far as your hair goes. Weekly salon appointments! WOW! Not many women have appointments that often anymore! I envy you. Are you getting used to being pampered? Have you combined your hair appointment with having your nails done yet? It makes the dryer time more enjoyable. I have a disappointment too though. Shouldn't you be the one to be putting up your hair? I know that Louise probably wants to and is willing to do it for you, but it DOES fall into the category of personal grooming which YOU should be able to do. Besides, I have an ulterior motive (or at least a suggestion to make things easier). Having your nails a bit longer and oval shaped makes it MUCH easier to section off you hair to put it into a curler. I've never used a rat-tail comb on myself. That works well when using it on others but is a disaster (at least for me) when I've tried it on myself. Also, and I mentioned this before, a shower cap will help your hair style last longer. If your hair tends to flatten out after the night in bed, a satin pillow or a satin sleep cap will help you there as well. As for the perm lasting, any time you get a new hairdresser it takes her time to learn your hair and how it responds. Julia is good enough to know what needs to be done next time. I hope you are enjoying your 'do as much as I have enjoyed hearing about it. Please keep us up to date, sweetie!

Rowena,
Yes it seems you are right, I seem to have finished up with a high maintenance hair style but do you know I love it. Weekly salon appointments haven't really worked out but I have managed once a fortnight since my last perm which was done on the 1st december which is just over 5 weeks ago. Perm still nice and curly this time no signs of it dropping out. It was a real long session in the salon though, I was there for just over 4 hours, I was really ready for home by the time Julia had finished. 4 hours of wearing the plastic gown, apron and cape was more than enough for me. It was worth it though. I have tried putting curlers in myself but I just can't do it, I do use a shower cap but I don't really know what a satin sleep cap is. I am enjoying having my hair like it is despite the slightly long winded perm sessions. I am thinking giving the highlights a miss for a while just to see if that helps the perm last longer.
Louise is not right happy about that, she really likes me with highlights in my hair

Do the highlights before the perm and then give it at least two weeks before perming. Three would be better. Any time the hair is processed it loses some of its structure. The more time between the various processes gives your hair some time to recover. But remember, your hair is dead cells. It isn't alive. That's why over-processed hair is extremely fragile. Having said all of that, I'm with Louise. I love the look of the highlighted curls. It gives depth and definition to your hairdo. (Yes, I saw that someone else called it that and from what I've seen of your posts, it IS a hairdo.)

The main reason for the set is to give the perm some style. It does help finish out the perming process, which gives the hair a little more directionality. But the main reason is to make the hair look more styled and less like just a mass of curls. Most men tend to think that permed hair is a style. It isn't. If the hair is just permed, the style comes from the cut. If the hair is permed and then set, the style comes from the cut and the set. The curls are just the platform to build on.<br />
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Your perm will probably last a little bit shorter than your usual three months, but will look just as good because you are setting it. The advantage of a perm and regular sets is that the sets last longer than without the perm and the the hair starts to be trained due to stretching of the wet hair around the roller. I think you will enjoy how your hair will look with regular sets, but you should really set your hair every time you wash it. This is your style now. Without the set, your hair won't look the same and won't look right to you. You probably ought to get a shower cap to help protect your hair style.<br />
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You obviously like the softer curls the set gives you and how your highlights define the curls. But you never really said how feminine the cut and set made your hair or whether you like how the style looks on you. You said you liked the way it falls into place (courtesy of the cut and set) and were quite pleased with the result. BTW, 'falling into place' means that you have a wonderful cut. Julia obviously knows what she is doing with hair. That is rare. Treasure it, hon. Does the style look feminine to you or Louise? Are you happy with your new style, despite the extra effort in sets it requires?<br />
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I'm glad you think the end result was worth it, despite how long it takes to look beautiful. Have you gotten to a point where you can just relax and enjoy the process? Did you treat yourself to a manicure while you were under the dryer? <br />
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I'm sure that you and Louise will both enjoy your new style, sweetie. Drop us an update now and again.

Jamie's style could be described as femimine that there is doubt but it is not overly femimine. I definately agree that Julia knows what she is doing when it comes to perming, setting and cutting. His hair does take a bit of taking care of, I have given him 1 set since we got home and he has had one set done at the hairdressers. The result is well worth the effort, I am not sure whether Jamie has got to the point where he sits back and enjoys the perm process but he certainly is not put off having perms just because of the length of time it takes. I am pretty sure he enjoys the attention he recieves

brianandrew,<br />
I am not too sure whether having your hair set immediately after a perm makes the perm last better or not, certainly didn't have a set for that reason. My perms usually last about 3 months which is fine for me. Louise suggested that I should go for a shampoo and set at the hairdressers once every couple of week and in between she will set it at home. Louise has bought some new rollers especially, she set it for me the other evening before we went to dinner.

Jamie,<br />
Nice to hear that your perm and set went well. Do you think the perm will last better due to having it set after your perm rather than blow dried. Are you planning to go back for regular shampoo and sets or will you do it at home.<br />
Louise,<br />
You the hell does that lady think she is making them comments about Jamie. Why do certain people think that just because a man goes to the hairdressers and has a perm or a colour that he must gay or in some way feminine and as for her comment about Jamie wearing earrings, well half worlds male population must be gay then judging on how common it is for men to wear earrings. OK, I accept that being in the hairdressers having a perm done sometimes makes me feel a little self conscious especially when I have a head full of curlers and so on but I like Jamie are not gay, I just like to have permed hair.

From what Louise described previously, this is an older shop with an older clientele. As such, the beliefs the older lady had were understandable. The beuty salon has traditionally been the one safe haven that women have had completely free of any male intrusion. She was understandably upset. Yes, she was out of touch with the times. When you are her age, I hope you will be better informed and more in touch, but the odds of that happening are slim. A little more tolerance is needed, I think. On both sides.

When Jamie went under the dryer for the first with his perm curlers in I went to sit in the waiting area, an older lady about 60 came and sat beside me, she started talking to me about that man who is having a perm. I didn't let on that he was my husband, she went on to say that she thought it was wrong that a man should be in here having his hair permed of all things as she put it. She pointed out to me that he was even wearing a pair of earrings and then suggested that he must be gay. At that pointed I decided to quite calmly tell her that he was my husband and that he certainly was not gay, I went on to say that he is just an ordinary man that cares about his appearance and I explained that it was actually my idea for him to have a perm originally and that I also wanted him to wear earrings.<br />
At that she got up and left the shop.

Love it!

I can agree 100% with what Jamie wrote, Julia did an amazing job. I am very pleased with the way his hair turned out. It felt like I had a new husband when we left the hairdressers.<br />
He looked so cute sat under the dryer with his rollers in.

One of my favorite images as well, Louise.

Jamie just looks so innocent and cute in his plastic gown and cape and a head full of perm curlers