Holy Sh Ite

Omg I've never been pregnant, I made sure of that. If I ever got pregnant there would not be a second thought, I'd be off to the abortion clinic, that scares me 2 ofcorse but pregnacy??? holy Shi freakin ite.  I cannot believe that women just go through it and how normal it is. When women start their stories I swear Im gonna spew, I get naucious and light headed. So pregnant for 10ish months? EWWWW it grows inside you and it kicks and stretchs your body, Then you have to give birth 2 it in front of doctors, a human craws out from between your legs? then ur not even finished, a discusting placenta comes out. People think Iam weird and I find it strange that its so normal to other people even tho it really is normal because every female in all species gives birth and ussually more than once. People are like "oh it so beautiful" what?? its ******* hidious and frightning. Your body will never be the same, ur boobs, ur stomach, ur crotch, all mutilated. If I had a child ofcorse I would love it with all my heart but the process is like a nightmare, I hate the thought of being an old women who has never had children, I would be a fantastic mother but I also want a career and to travel and make lots of money and live my own life. Im also prone 2 depression, iv had it badly for years and im coming right now, My mother was abusive because of her severe depression and I swear I wouldnt be the same but what if I was? I couldnt deal with that depression most women get after giving birth, i'd probaly get very depressed while pregnant anyway with the fact of it being so scary and emotional, I could even drive the father away by being so insane and if I lost the father to my child I think i'd go mad, i'd have to know he was in it for the whole way and faithfully, I might get paranoid. Just because its such a dramamtic and traumatic sudden change and im not sure I would have time to adjust to so much at once. Also I would be so protective (even tho I think u should'nt be with children so they can grow) cause if anything happened to my child I would go completely insane and if it died I wouldnt be able to let it go and i'd be left with the physical changes from giving birth 2 it. Ahh im so over reacting

 

MushroomFaerie148 MushroomFaerie148
26-30, F
8 Responses Nov 22, 2009

Take each day at a time. You do NOT have to have children if you don't want to. Enjoy your life, and if your feelings change you can think about it then. Or not. It's your life, you choose.

I take the Depo shot to avoid this.

Me2

It's wise if you don't want children not to get pregnant. As for the physical effects, I've always looked better after having kids than I did before. My body is back to normal within a month or two and I only got some tiny stretch marks below my belly button with my first pregnancy. After that, I never got them again.<br />
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Then again, I've been told that I'm the exception and not the rule. I strongly feel that people who get pregnant and don't want the child should opt for adoption rather than abortion but if you don't want children, it's best that you never experience pregnancy to begin with.

Exactly what Im doing but I also did not say i did'nt want children. The reason i said abortion is because the pregnancy and child birth are what frighten me the most so adoption would never be an option, if i gave birth, i would keep it and be a fantastic mother. I also wrote this story a long time ago, now i have seen pro life videos and I don't think I could do that either. My issue is that I have no idea what I want or what will happen and it scares me, I just have to put it out of my mind and maybe i'll continue to do that until it's to late:(

If you want to be a mother then just adopt a kid and you can avoid pregnancy all together.

I want my own and if I got another women to carry my child i would feel guilty it was'nt me. Im just not gonna think about it until a time comes when I have to.

I understand exactly how you feel in a way these other people don't. My friends have now all started having children and I just can't. I can't bear to look at pregnant women, at young children and even when my period is still due and I have sore breasts I immediately rush out and buy a pregnancy test because if I don't I will have cold sweats and overpowering rushes of fear just contemplating being pregnant.<br />
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It is a phobia. There's no other word for it. I have actually been pregnant before, when my contraception failed, and I had an abortion. I cannot physically stomach pregnancy and the thought of childbirth itself affects me so deeply, with a revulsion and sense of horror that pierces my soul, that I can't even bear to think about it at all. <br />
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When I was pregnant I suffered from panic attacks frequently, clawing at my stomach because the thought of something growing in there, something alien, something I never asked for, was so utterly repulsive, so utterly terrifying. <br />
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Every month I feel sick with anxiety that I am pregnant again, even though I have a coil in, make my partner use condoms AND make him withdraw. Even after all that I still worry I'm pregnant because truly it is my worst ever fear. I cannot possibly describe it but reading what you wrote strikes home with me. I understand.<br />
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I know I will probably lose my partner in a few years when he finally comes to terms with the fact I will never get broody like normal women. I would love my tubes tied, but he is very against it, hoping that someday all this will just disappear. I know from the bottom of my heart, the core of my being, that it never, ever will.

well if u care so much about ur body den this means u dont love new souls entering this people..u r just being selfish about ur looks..u should stop being so selfifh

The way you put it, it is truly horrifying!<br />
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But it's all so worth it. My daughter is the best thing in my life.<br />
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Maybe that's why they said no pain no gain

We all go through many frightening changes in life. Like 2Emotional said, you are young. Don't think yourself as weird for holding these fears, they are perfectly normal. But as you experience more in life and face many other fears you have, you will be able to realize and tell yourself one day, these fears were not as scary as you had once seen them as.