Black Out.

When I was in 4th grade I was chosen to participate in a Spelling Bee.
I was excited and couldn't wait. The only problem was:
I had stage fright.
Now usually, people would tell you to pretend that the people in the audience were stuffed animals or to close your eyes and pretend you were in a imaginary place.
Well, that was usually what people would tell me.
But no I just couldn't do it. I was very happy to have the chance to even participate in something like this but I knew that once I got on that stage, I would be screwed.
Well, with a lot of coaxing and convincing from my teachers and my Mother, I finally decided I would give it a try.
I studied and studied the words I was told the judges would ask me to spell until I knew them with out even having to look at the paper.
But the problem wasn't the spelling that caught me up.. It was how many people were going to be there.
On the night of the Spelling Bee, I was confident and I was very convinced that I would pass this with flying colors.
Dressed in a pink and very fluffy dress I walked onto the stage, ready to dominate.
I had gotten to the middle of the stage and was asked to state my name.
Instantly, I froze up.
My hands started shaking, my palms were sweaty, and I felt like I was going to pass out.
But I managed to stutter out my first and last name.
The judges thanked me and told me to wait backstage until the other kids came.
I heard my Mother stand up and yell out "YOU GO TAYLOR!" and I smiled brightly and ran off the stage, a little too fast.
Well soon enough, the kids were done introducing themselves and it was my turn for the first word.
My confidence building up, I walked out on stage.
I stopped in the center and faced the crowd, the stage lights shining in my eyes.
I searched the crowd, looking for my Mom. When I spotted her I gave her a thumbs up.
She smiled back and blew me a kiss.
I looked at the judge, awaiting for my word.
I am not sure I remember what he asked me to spell but I sure do remember that queasy feeling in my stomach.
I knew I had known the word but I was so nervous.
I heard the murmurs from the crowd and instantly thoughts ran through my head.
What if they thought my dress was too fluffy? What if they thought I couldn't spell? What if I messed up? What if I made the judges mad?
Those were the thoughts that ran through my head before I blacked out.
I awoke in my bed room wondering what had happened.
My Mom was sitting by the bed and instantly hugged me.
At first I was confused but then all of the memories came flooding back in my head.
I felt ashamed and embarrassed.
I asked my Mom if she hated me and I will always remember her words:
"I could never hate you, I am just glad you tried and even though you didn't win, I am more proud of you than you could ever imagine."

CinnaBunz715 CinnaBunz715
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 1, 2013

Great job on trying to overcome your fear :) I'm 23 yet I still fear public speaking.. let's continue to conquer the fear together

Haha thank you and do not worry we shall defeat this fear!