My Pain

there are many broken people walking this planet every day, i once was one of them, and now my son is another.
he is suffering deeply, and is in the throes of a major depression. i too have been there, and i would take his place now if i could, knowing fron experience that it is the most isolating, frightening human condition. i want to take all this terror away, but i can only love him, listen to him, not judge him and support him.
but it is hard. it is devastating, as i know that he has a hard road ahead of him.
my life has had its share of tragedies, not saying this for sympathy, it just has; but in the last year i have rebuilt my life, bit by bit, day by day, but this pain i feel for my deeply troubled son is hard to bare.  being highly creative, intelligent and sensitive, he has finally has not been kind to him and his suffering is real.
so many wonderful people in this world suffer from mental conditions and they are judged, told to "buck up" or just not believed.
when someone has a broken leg, we all rush to help, when someone has a broken mind, we turn away, if it may some how be "catching"...we turn away because we are reminded of our own fragility, so the person suffers in silence.

i am hopeful for my son's recovery. my heart is pouring out all of the love i hold inside for him...and for all the other broken people in this world
shenightowl shenightowl
51-55, F
4 Responses Nov 16, 2012

Hi shenightowl, I hope your son is feeling better.

hi will be a long recovery, but i am postive he will come out of this stronger person...thank you

If a story could be wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time, yours was. Thank you for sharing it.

thank you

i believe my son is suffering from some undiagnosed mental disorders himself...he would come by them naturally, as i suffer from anxiety/depression etc...
he doesn't want to go to the dr. the thought of meds turns him off, he's afraid of becoming addicted to them. ...he also is drowning his 'mind' in drugs as well. It's so hard as mothers to watch our children suffer.

it is the worst type of pain for us mothers

Hi shenightowl, I am so very sorry to hear about your son's illness. Do you have any idea what triggered the depression?

thaks Orangetas, no not really, he has always been a very unusual person, very gentle and very intelligent, he is on meds, but his condition is not good, i am taking time off work to care for him. it is hard, but he is my only child and i am trying to be strong for him...thanks for reading