My Fiance's Sister...

She was my best friend from 7th grade thru high school.  Then I started dating her brother.  Suddenly, it was my fault that she had no friends (when in reality, she had become such a crazy raving brat in h.s. that she had already lost all her friends), that she was dating a married man (whom her mother claims she only started dating because I had a boyfriend and she felt left out), that anything went wrong in her life.  Not only is she going to be my sister-in-law (and expects to be my maid of honor - HA!), but she has followed me to two different colleges and persists in destroying my social life by going around and telling people that we're best friends because we're just like each other.  We are not.  She is wrong.  I have tried to break away from her, I have tried to be honest when she asks me why people don't like her.  She never leaves, she never changes.  She is the poltergeist that will forever haunt my life.  God help me.
Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984
26-30, F
2 Responses Jun 6, 2007

As I said, we were best friends for many years. I was always very tolerant of her less than exemplary social skills until they started being used by her to screw up my other relationships. She acts as if she owns me because of our friendship and as if I am responsible for anything bad that she chooses to do. It is really hard because people judge me based upon her actions and her words and so it has gotten to the point when she is no longer a true friend. She is a beautiful, brilliant, talented person, but unfortunately, she allows herself to be rude and pushy and manipulative, so no one will ever take the time to see the good things about her. I know they are there, and I tried for years to help her to make choices that would allow her to let them show to their fullest extent. She prefers to be bitter and closed off and I can no longer handle her negative interference in my life.<br />
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But, I appreciate your input and your insight. I also appreciate your kind compliments. I do not know if I am a beautiful person, but I try to be and I appreciate that those choices can be seen. :)

You know we all deal with these kind of issues. People who always manage to get on our nerves - and more so, when they are family. <br />
Have you tried being friends with her ? I was at University in the west sometime ago (im asian) and there was this guy who kept ridiculing me for no apparent reason. Maybe it was racist, I honestly don't know. I tried avoiding him, but that didn't help because we lived in the same house. <br />
And then, I decided to try a different plan. I started being very nice to him. To be friendly.The kind of affection that expects nothing in return. And it worked. He became a pretty decent friend over time...so much so that he managed to stay in touch for a short while after we graduated. Sometimes, in life, like the beatles said, All you need is love.<br />
Have you browsed the Happiness project on the internet ? It has a few pointers that might be of help to you.<br />
By the way, I happened to see your profile, and I liked it so much, that I've been reading every single story you have shared :) You write very well, but I guess you are a very beautiful person within too...because it reflects in you writing !<br />
*Hugs*