Dealing With My Husband's Pot Smoking
I have a wonderful relationship with my husband of 5 years, we are basically inseparable. There is just one little nagging issue that seems to be growing deeper; he would always rather be high. I honestly feel like there are three of us in the marriage, me, him, and mary jane. I feel a little cheated, I didn't sign up for this. To be clear, I have no problem with weed in itself, if I could legalize the stuff this second I would. I believe it has many great qualities and is no more harmful than alcohol, possibly less so. The main issue is not the plant, it's that my husband feels he needs it to be normal. Despite knowing how it makes me feel, he still chooses to smoke. He would always rather smoke with someone, but has no problem doing it alone if he "has to". I feel hurt because it appears that just spending time with me is not enough for him, he is not truly content without smoking. I don't understand why he needs it. He told me the other day I need to give up wanting and wishing for a husband that doesn't smoke, because he always will and I need to accept it. It broke my heart and even now brings tears. I used to fight it, we would argue, it got really ugly. I thought about leaving him for the first time ever. Now I know I can't change him, if I gave him an ultimatum he might let me go. He thinks I am trying to take away something that he loves, when in all honesty I don't believe he is healthy mentally or emotionally and I just want the best for him. He has started therapy to help him deal with some deep rooted issues and I can only hope it leads him to feel ok sober. Who knows how long it could take, and maybe I'm stupid for hoping. These days I try to remind myself to be accepting of him no matter what, but inevitably my anger and resentment creep back. It is a daily struggle. I am writing this in the hopes that someone out there knows how I feel or can relate.