My Relationship With My Grown Daughter Who Has Several Mental Issues ; (

This very tough for me to write about but it's my life. My daughter was born 29 years ago. She was a very sick baby and child in and out of the hospital for first couple of years...upper respitory infections..etc.... She always slept through the night and very easy baby other than that. I was so happy to have her in my life and felt blessed everyday to have her. I made sure she felt loved especially because my mother did not make me feel that way. Fast forward 3 years...I noticed her behavior changing, VERY active always into things and hard time concentrating. By kindergarden They told me she was ADHD. She had a wonderful sence of humor and was a very happy child but a few issues in school with her behavior and some learning disabilities popped up. The issues were addressed and her needs were taken care of. Moving ahead to her early teen years......My children went to a very diverse highschool economically and race wise. My daughter got there and was drawn to the the children that had tough home lives and would bring them home like stray cats. I welcomed everyone of her friends in my home and treated them as they were my own. But soon she was not coming home and staying out with them, we would drive around looking for her and find her the worst parts of a near by city. She was smoking poy and drinking. In the mean time we were taking her to Dr's alot of them. She told me she had border line personality disorder and was manic depressive. She was on medication.....untill 18 when said no more. There was nothing we could do...she was an adult. Thats when things became unbearable! My husband and i divorced and he lived across town. We decided it was best she live with him because my younger daughter was witness to many things that were affecting her, It was the hardest thing I ever had to do!! He had a hard time setting limits and there were none! This girl ran the streets all hours of the day and night, no job! Fast forward 10 years and she is still doing the same thing. She has not moved on with her life in anyway. Although her father and i get along I am very bitter about the fact that he has allowed her to live this life. My relationship with her is up and down......her favorite pass time is to blame me for everything wrong in her life. She becomes very verbally abusive and violent. I forgot to mention she has been in trouble with the law many times over the years!! He just keeps bailing her out. I love this girl so much it hurts! I feel helpless! I worry about what will become of her someday when her dad and I are not there for her anymore. She does not know how to write a check...or manage money. I don't think she would survive on her own. FYI she smokes pot and drinks all the time...thank god never messed with anything else. I have been in and out of counseling with her over the years even up to 2 months ago trying to have a relationship with her.She will be 29 next moth but on the mental leval of about 12. Is anyone going through something similar and how do you handle it?
Beachgirl61 Beachgirl61
46-50, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

My 1/2 sister was forced to take the Psychotropic Drugs until she ran away
but she was already hooked and the self medicating behavior is fall out from force-feeding children drugs for normal adolescence behavior. Adolescent behavior is miserable and some parents deny this and put their kids on habit forming speed ADHD drugs, that alter the growing brain
and distort. My sis was diagnosed the same as written but she is not bipolar. Adolescent behavior is bipolar because the normal processes to assert the individual creates a new identity and personality unlike the child that the adolescent is emerging from. Drugging children ruins them and destroys the person that we hoped them to be forever.