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Im In Love With A Married Man

About a year ago I was introduced to this man who by the way is 35. Something about him caught my eye. He was introduced to me by his brother inlaw and as they stated to me he was in process of a divorce. Im 23 and a single mother of 1. I have had my share of bad luck with guys that I thought that maybe this one was different. I was introduced to him in july and in november we started dating. He wouldnt give me his number he asked for mine he was always the one to call me. Since I am a very curious young girl I started asking him questions. Why do you always call me private if you are going through a divorce. He told me that it was because his kids didnt know and that he didnt want us seeing each other to affect the outcome of his divorce. I started asking him about where he lived and where the wife lived he told me that she lived on the other side of town and that he lived on so and so street. When he would conversate with me their where some things that didnt match up. So i started to investigate him I started putting to and to together only to find out that the wife still lived with him and that he didnt live where he said he lived.  I confronted him about he and he told me that she had just moved back in because she had lost the house where she was living and that he took her back in to the home for the kids. At this point I started asking him for divorce papers which till this day 9 months later of actually being together I havent seen. He would give me excuse after excuse why he didnt have the papers.  He swears that he loves me and all that he wants is for me to be patient and it will all be done with it. The way that I contact him is by texting his nephew which is his sisters son and then he gets in contact with the uncle. I only see him when he is able to escape from the wife and kids especially now. A couple months ago I had shown up at a park where him and his friends where playing soccer. I got off the car and walked towards where he was at without knowing that his mother was there and some of his other family like his other sisters. Since both of the brothers knew about me they informed him that his mother and sister where headed towards where I was at. As I was leaving the sister and the mother approached me and immediately started asking me what was I doing with him that he was a married me and he had children. I confronted them and informed that if their was anyone that they should be confronting is him because he told me that he was getting a divorce and that they didnt live together. He of course denied everything. I left and later that after noon the mother and sister went back and told the wife infront of the kids that her husband was with another woman. I told him that I couldnt do this anymore that I loved him but I knew that he was never going to fall asleep with me and wake up with me that we would never be a family. After 2 weeks of not seeing him or him calling me he came to my house and told me that he was in love with me and that he thanked me for me so patient and understanding because somebody else would have left him. Its so hard there has been times where i just want to walk up to her and tell her that her husband is with me and that when he comes home smelling like a woman its because he is with me. SOmetimes on purpose I spray him with my perfume or I put my lotion on him. When she moved back in she also wrecked her car so he went and bought her a new car he says its is for the kids but why on the registration is her name aand his. So what I do when he picks me up in the car that I know she drives is either leave earings or spray my perfume or try to leave something behind so she knows. He tells me that he just doenst want to hurt his kids because he grew up without a father but Im not asking him to leave his kids I just want him to leave her. She was the one that started the divorce papers long before I met him because she had gotten mad at him beause she wanted 10000 to send to her mother and he told her that was too much money she got mad and she thought to get him upset she would get a divorce. Now that he is seeing someone else she is doing what ever it takes she has gone unprepared to the court dates and once has not shown up she is trying to prolong everything. a couple of weeks ago I got mad because he has the tendency to tell me I will call you at so and so time and he never calls or we are going out on so and so day and he stands me up so my friend and i went to his house and I  left a note on the car that she drives telling her that her husband is with another woman and not to be blind to leave him. He told me that someone had left a note on his car and that his son had found it I felt  bad but she needs to open her eyes. I know that he loves me because he is constantly telling me that he does and that he wants to start a family with me. HEr and I have been on the road right next to each other and I know who she is but she doesnt know who Iam .  Ive  tried to leave him and tell him that maybe it will be best if he just works things out with her but he refuses to leave me. I tell him that he needs to make up his mind because if he is not going to be with me then he needs to let me go so that I can move on even though it will  be hard. We have already been intimate with each other and it was the best feeling and he told me that it was the best he has ever had because i took time to make sure that he was pleased. I love him and I see myself with him married and giving him the daughter that he wants. My son has already met him and gets along with him great. a couple days ago after i put the note on the car he told me that the son went up to him and told him that his mom said that if he continue doing what he was doing that she was going to leave to an apartment or a hotel what she is doing is wrong because she is using the kids to put guilt into him. how stupid can you be if your washing your mans clothes and his shirts smell like girl perfume and it isnt yours why stay. I just know that i love him and he loves me.
Ladynight05 Ladynight05 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 6, 2010

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This is the best time for you to take a walk.That man is a lier and a cheat.it happened to me too...i met wit this married man,he did not tell me he was married and i fell deeply in love with him and at the end i found out that he has a wife and a kid. i just called it a quit today.Though its very difficult for me to forget him but i have to...so run out of that relationship before its too late.

Take it from a veteran of two online affairs with unavailable men....he is using you. And you deserve much more than a relationship ba<x>sed on lies and HIS welfare. Stop.....think....and don't ignore the red flags....if you do, you'll regret it.<br />
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"When someone shows you who they are, believe them. They know themselves much better than you do...."

I know you're young. But this man is nothing but bad news. You have a child to think about and it's not good for them to be around such an unstable relationiship. Kick him to the curb. He's not going to leave his wife. If he really loves you he will leave her if you leave him first, but lady, I really doubt that will ever happen. GET OUT NOW!!! Men will all lie to us a million times to get us to stay around and put out. An older man knows how to take advantage of someone who loves him, just think about what he's doing to his wife and kids. Do you really even want someone around who can lie to their own children?

I can understand how you feel, but it sounds like this man is leading you on. Nothing good will come out of this relationship. I don't believe that your boyfriend has any intention of leaving his wife. I feel it would be best for you and your son to move on. You will be happy you did!