In A Relationship With A Married Man

I've been dealing with a married man for the past 5yrs but when I met him he was separated from his wife for about 2yrs. We have such a great friendship and spend alot of time together but I noticed things started to be different, less time spent and he instantly stopped spending the night with me. When I would question why he stopped staying over, he would make up excuses over and over. So I finally got up enough nerve to ask him did he go back home to his wife and he said yes but claimed they weren't back together, that they were only co-parenting their 7yrs old autistic child and that they were sleeping in separate rooms. No, I do not believe that but he insist that this is the truth. I'm so deep into this relationship but I know it's not the right thing to do, just wish I had the strength and courage to walk away. He constantly tells me how much he loves me and how he never wants me out of his life, yet I know that is very selfish of him. I am a good woman with alot of great qualities about myself and I ponder on how did I get myself so caught up in this. I've always been the only woman in my relationships so did allow myself to lower my standards like this. Any other man would love to be with me but I'm being too committed to someone who already belongs to somebody else. I need help and I need strong advice. What can I do to remove myself from this situation?
Haygirl301 Haygirl301
41-45
2 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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Hi,
I am not in the position to give any advice. I am only responding to let you know there are other woman, just like you, in the same position. Me, for instance. LOL.
I am dating a married man too. When I met him, he was also separated from his wife, and they were living in separate houses. She was actually living in his house. He moved back to his house, where his wife stays, because of financial reasons.
Now the two are living together again, but they sleep in different rooms. No one has started any divorce proceedings. They also have a 3 year old daughter.
He says they are not sleeping together, but I am also not so sure.
He has told me he will leave his wife soon, but it’s been months and nothing has happened.
I made a choice for myself, and only for myself.
I told him, that I am giving him to the end of February 2013, and if he has not told his wife he wants a divorce, I will be leaving the relationship. This is not to force him to do something, but for my own sanity. I can’t be the one that hides in the shadows anymore. I am worth so much more than that. His response was, “ I will tell her soon”. Now we shall wait and see.
Maybe you could do something along the same lines. Tel him that you don’t approve of them sleeping in one house. He can leave as soon as their child sleeps at night. If he can’t compromise, or is not willing to do this for you, you know where you stand and what to do.
You are the only person that controls your own destiny. Try to take control. That’s what I am doing.
Good luck with your situation.