Why Dont She Understand

my mum was diognosed with dementia in january.
we have known for sometime that her memory was going
but at first it was things you could laugh at but now its not
so funny.
i know i shouldnt but i feel so resentful toward her as she is
making my life a living hell.
the constant repeating her self and not understanding why
she cant go out on her own or use the cooker.
i should be used to her putting everything on my shoulders
as when my dad died she wanted me to do everything for her
which like any daughter would i did it that was 12 years ago all the
time he was alive she didnt really want me she only wanted my brother
but as he has not had anything to do with her since his funeral suddenly
she wanted me so after about 6 years of doing things that she was capable of doing
herself i finally managed to concentrate on my own family so now that
she needs all the help i resent her i would go as far as saying
im begining to hate her
i know there are people out there that are far worse of than me just
at the moment i guess im feeling totally on my own.
dont get me wrong i have a wonderful husband 2 sons and a devoted daughter
but it seems so unfair on them me having to contstantly cry on their shoulders or even
me taking it out on them when its not their fault.
we have carers going in 3 times a day which we thought would take the pressure off
me a bit but it doesnt she is still constantly on the phone and keep getting me to go round
i really dont know how much more of this i can take.
kaym48 kaym48
51-55, F
May 11, 2012