Making Ends Meet

Back in October, I had to get a room-mate to make ends meet.
For two and a half years I have fought tooth and nail to stay above water. Working, 50 to 60 hrs a week. Back a year ago, I worked 70 plus hrs a week till I fell down and hurt myself.
I have always been a private soul, I keep to myself and.. work, eat, sleep and do it all over again.
Fighting my depression, loneliness... dreaming of a better life. I will pull it off too, just have a hard time .. at times.. keeping my head straight.

Now I share my house... no longer a home. I lock myself up in my bedroom, spend time here on EP, and wait. For what? huh?
I am a neat nut, he is not. I clean for a living and ... fight to keep my ... house clean. I am not happy with my situation!!
He has a bird that he never...NEVER cleans up after. I got tired of the birdshit, the feathers flying. And the bird never shuts up, always making these very loud sounds....blah blah blah. My heating bill is higher than I have ever seen it. I raised hell, he agrees to pay more than half of the bill since I am not at home but a few hours during the day and I sleep here. AND he likes it warmer than I can afford.

The worse part of having a room-mate is.. I can't get comfortable in my house anymore.
Need to get a tv in this bedroom of mine. He has the rest of the house..
It was my idea to get a room-mate but... once again, I cut my nose off! sigh...
So when you all see me swing with emotions.. this is what is happening to me.

On top of it all, I miss my love so much. Icing on the cake.
Lord help me to ... make life better, worth living.
I miss my home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MorningBreeze MorningBreeze
56-60, F
3 Responses Jan 25, 2013

Sorry to hear about your situation :( Capitalism has gotten out of control and is doing that to people's lives. I know, I am going through something similar. Hope you can see light at the end of this tunnel soon, as you deserve :)

sooner or late... this will all work itself out, this i know. sooo till then, i go on, watch my attitude and work. :) Thank you!

That is such a tough situation. Can only imagination how hard this has to be for you. Now especially in the middle of winter, I can understand where you would need the additional income.
Between his lack of respect on keeping his area clean, his cigar smoke, and the bird; if you were not such a lady you would probably show him the bird.
Spring will be here before you know it and you will be able to go camping once again. No wonder you enjoy getting out so much. Who wouldn't?
Peace for your heart!

Bless you Climber. yes sir! spring will bring new to me and this situation i need to handle! I am a moody soul anyway so... this shall pass too. But.. lol... I can be firm, down right ...passive aggressive kinda gal... sad but true. it's who i am. i will not agree, get into a verbal wouldn't be good. soooo back to spring.. yup..yup.. I am hanging. Thank you.

I knew you were smart from the start. You will pick your battles and it is apparent that this is a no win situation, but we both are firm believers that good will win in the end.
Hang in there and keep using your friends on EP as your escape till spring. We are here for you!

I have been spending more time here since i got a room-mate sooo.. yes, i am holding tight to my friends here on EP. Thanks again my friend.

Oh Breezy, this sounds just awful. The bird would be enough to make me crazy. They are so damned noisy. I prefer my birds outside.
It makes me sad to think of you holed up in your room. Doesn't this guy ever go out and leave you some time alone?

no! i don't want to come home and .. change the channel on the tv or whatever... so i stay hid away to... just survive. i am so sad about this all. BUT i got to do what i got to do! I can't make it any other way. soooo.... I will make the best of it till....
Thank you my friend. That bird.. his sounds are deafening! loud! always sounding off. I cleaned the birdshit up yesterday... scubbed the cage and mopped the floor in .. once upon a time.. my living room. :(

I think you should make him move the bird to his room.

no room, it's clutter till you can't move around. sigh........ the house smells too!!!!!!!!!! like cigars, he's a chain smoker... :(( God what have I done to myself? blah blah blah..whatever! sorry, i am having a silent fit. time will tell, won't it. Maybe if he reads this since he is in my computer... my TV too...yup... and.. sigh............. i don't know anymore. BUT... it's time for work, only got one clean and only 4 hrs of my night job...soo.. yup.. i will survive. Thank you Lilt.. i really needed to sound off about this. Have a good day... got to go.

This all sounds horrendous . You HAVE to push back. I understand that you need the money but surely to God if he is a friend you can explain that he has gone too far and that you are now very uncomfortable in your own home.
There must be a way of salvaging this before you wrestle with the thought of strangling him and the bird!! :(

when i get my feathers ruffled..i do speak up...i have said what needs to be said. got to remember...he's only a man! ;) instead of nagging...i just do what must be done, that plain and simply. thanks... life is ALL attitude, soooo... *smile* Have a fine day.

I dont think he should get away with making a mess because he's a man. I live with a man who is a billion times tidier than me!
But if you are coping well now with things as they are well thats all good :)

"coping" is a fine word.

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