Addiction And Crushing Souls

I was previously married to an addict. Won't go into much detail about him to go to rehab (after threatening to leave), had 6 great months of him being clean and he started drinking again (and lying and sneaking and manipulating....the list goes on). Got divorced...remained friends, he still drinks but is doing well.


My nephew is only 27? He fell in love with a girl from Poland a few years back. They went through the heartbreak of living apart, traveling country to country and finally fought and fought until she was able to come to America. I actually married them (I am a notary). I too had met my 2nd husband from another country so their situation certainly hit close to my heart.

A year or so later, they have a gorgeous baby boy. About a year after that, the "cat's out of the bag" and he is addicted to pain meds (same as my x). He told me himself that he was and was going to rehab. Of course, I encouraged and loved him, this is my nephew. Although he has his problems, he is such a sweet kid.

After his first stint at rehab, he got on suboxone, which IMO, is just prolonging the agony. Fast forward another 6 months or so and he was about on his face at the family Thanksgiving dinner...nodding out, f**kin wasted.

I was concerned and upset that I wasn't super close with my brother (step dad) and sister in law (mom) to discuss it. I prayed.

Just before Christmas, at a party, I asked his wife, where is "***" at home with the baby? Then she told me. He went hours away across the state to an in house rehab, for 3, 6 or more? months. WOW! Sad, but great that he is getting extended care help.

Meanwhile, the poor wife and son (who just turned 2 while daddy is away) are living with my brother and wife. They support her, take care of her and the child and love them immensely, as we all do! She is the sweetest,. most beautiful wonderful caring girl and their little boy is THE cutest and sweetest! BTW she has a full time job and puts her child in daycare and nets probably just enough for food, maybe.

She told me in conversation a bit after he went, that it was so hard, and his parents were done with him, etc., but she told me, she loves him and he is her husband so she will stand by and support him through what he's going through. She was completely taken back by his addiction and had no idea in their first years together (because at least he used to function).

SOOOO....I've been wondering when he's getting out? Got a call from my mom today, he got kicked out of rehab for drinking and being drunk and went and stayed with his real dad. I'm like, huh????? Why is he not with his wife and kid??????? I know how much he loves his son and wife.

THEN...the mom and step dad and wife thought he went missing...left his dad's house and no one knew where he was, no phone calls or texts would be answered. He was even supposed to meet his wife and kid for lunch and he never showed, never called.

A friend of his was kind enough to call my brother and let him know that he has been shackin up with some chick. Apparently he called his younger brother (16) and was bragging about this hot chick he was with.

I feel like I could have puked my insides out after hearing this. I am actually numb and cannot comprehend the extent of his actions...and I am a somewhat distant relative! Not his wife, mom, dad, son. (thank goodness he is too young to really know)

Anyhow, sorry for this very LONG story/rant, but this was my day today and I needed to share it.

What I know I went through was hell with my x...but what my nephew has done to his poor beautiful wife and child...I have no words.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
fayanna2012 fayanna2012
Feb 22, 2012