My "Gnarly" Scar.
I have a 12 inch scar that runs from the top of my neck down the center of my chest and ends right below my breast bone. It longer than most open-heart surgery scars I've seen. I had surgery to remove a large cyst (it was benign and would have been pretty much harmful unless I had gotten sick and it got infected) when I was in the 4th grade, I am now about to begin my second year of college and honestly I haven't really learned to deal with having such a large scar. There isn't a day that I don't think about it or a day that it doesn't bother me or make me sad/angry.
I HATE when people stare at my scar instead of giving me eye contact when we are talking. What is worse is when they interrupt the conversation to ask "What happened to your neck?" or "Where'd you get that gnarly scar from?" (Believe me I've heard it described as "gnarly" on so many ocassions) I understand curiosity but how can people be so rude?! Did anyone ever think for a second that I might not want to talk about it right then?! I never make it a big deal I always just act very non-chalant about it and just say "It's just a surgical scar..." But I HATE when people I meet for the first time just randomly ask about the scar but don't ask anything about me! And then they want to know "what kind of surgery?" and I tell them "just a cyst removal." Why are people so nosy?! This sounds horrible but I always wished the surgery had been more serious like open-heart surgery then I might find more pride in the scar as you know..."proof of what I survived" or something like that? But no I just have a really severe scar from a surgery that wasn't so severe. :/
Another major thing that bothers me is finding clothes to wear. I'm a 19 yr old girl who loves fashion but am limited to wearing scarves, jackets and high neck clothes in an attempt to cover my scar. I can't wear v-necks, swimsuits, low necks shirts, and most dresses (I even skipped my high school prom because I couldn't find a dress). I want to but I know if I did I'd just get more stares and more questions than I want to deal with. I'd give anything for the scar to be anywhere else: leg, stomach, back, whatever! But why in the center of my chest?! I struggle everyday with learning to live with being scarred for life.
Sorry about the length of this entry and the negativity. No one ever hears me complain about it but I just needed to get that of my (scarred) chest...