Scars

Some people see scars as a proud thing, some people hate their scars. I personally hate them.

I have a few natural scars, but most of them are self-inflicted. Some of them aren't scars yet, they are cuts. I am so ashamed of what I do, and so scared because most people take it a different way. They don't see that I am NOT trying to kill myself or get attention. I am trying to punish myself for not being able to stop something that is in the past. I punish myself to just being me, because I hate who I am, I hate feeling so worthless and seeing hatred when I look in the mirror. If I find a strength in myself, the weakness always drowns it out and comes out on top. It's not that I want to do this to myself, but I feel I HAVE to... I just don't know :( 

hurtandpain hurtandpain
18-21, F
12 Responses Feb 16, 2010

After awhile it becomes like an addiction right? It is something so horrible yet you still do it anyway

i know im late on this...but you sound just like me. i hate i but i hurt myself.

Harmony, out of the things you said, there was one thing that stood out - you said that you'd be able to look back - that means you're thinking about the future, and that in itself is a truly great thing. With therapy I've realized just how serious suicide is, it just seemed so easy to do before, but now, I stop and think, it helps a lot. I just hope you don't get to the point where you actually believe that is the right thing to do, or the easiest, coz believe me, no matter how much it might seem true and real, it's definitely not, it never is, take care of yourself

The misconceptions are awful. I agree<br />
And im very confused about my scars...i think someday when (hopefully) this is all over ill be able to look at them and feel proud-that i survived<br />
but now they're just embarrassing...<br />
I once heard a quote "Scars can be beautiful too, it all depends on how you view them"<br />
i liked it...<br />
<br />
I never use to think about suicide, but now...somethings changed<br />
Somedays it seems like the only way out<br />
But your not alone, and its not a way out so stay strong<br />
message me if you want<br />
<br />
-H

Yeah, I think so too

It's nice to know there are others out there

i cried myself to sleep lastnight because i wanted to die so i know what it feels like and talking to u and others helps me and hope it helps u too

It one of those things that everyone's never going to understand, no matter what happens. It's like when people don't understand why someone would want to die, why they are hurting so much. They don't realize that we don't choose to feel that way, we just do. I never used to understand many things, but now that I've been in the situation, I do now.

Misconceptions make surviving with something like this more difficult. If everyone understood, or at least tried to understand, it would be safer to open up and let someone help. But the way most people are makes you question whether anyone would really even want to help in the first place. I respect you for trying to fix things. I feel pretty trapped in my own similar feelings and I know how difficult it is to even try to fix things, and not knowing whether it will help or not. It's scary. <br />
As for the misconceptions, I wish people could understand it as an addiction, just something that people find a bit of relief in and so they keep doing it because they begin to need it more and more. But even addiction is misunderstood by lots of people, so that wouldn't help much I guess. I understand, at least. If you ever need to talk about anything and feel like trusting me, I don't judge

frostbitten, Even though they are not attempts, I still do want to kill myself, I came close to trying the other night. I'm on medication for depression and I'm in therapy but it's getting worse, I'm trying though<br />
<br />
BuildingNothingOutOfNothing, It is hard and I hate how people misconceieve it

I've never tried cutting but I know people who do. I know it's hard.

i too have many self-inflicted scars for me cutting takes away the hurt even for a little while some of my cut were attempts.sound like u dont want to die but dont know any other way to stop from hurting.u need to talk to someone,a teacher,doctor,someone that can help u.It may only get worse if u dont