My Scars

I have many scars,inside and out.When I was about 15 I was out with my friends drinking,ended up steaming and then all of a sudden started getting
really angry and then I got a bit of glass and started slashing my arms,I have no idea why I can just remember wanting
To hurt myself but couldn't feel the wasn't til the next morning when I woke up I was in agony and my
Arms were a mess,the cuts weren't that bad they just looked awful.I couldn't believe
I had done it.when my mum seen it she just looked at me with disgust,think she just
Thought I was attention seeking which I probably mums not really good at showing
Emotion so we didn't talk about it.
It was so embarassing at school (8 years ago I'm 23 now)I felt like everyone thought
I was crazy and they probably did.tried my best to hide them I was so ashamed,
I knew I was scarred for life and had no-one to talk friends thought it was funny!
It wasn't like I was into self-harmer.
Anyway months went past and I started taking night when I was off my head
On valium I went downstairs and started hacking away at my arms for no reason again.
When I was straight I just couldn't understand why I done it. At work I try to wear long sleeved
Tops even though they have faded.I hate it b
Because people must think I have serious
Problems and the thing is I know I have issues that need to be addressed and I'm trying
To figure out what they are.its a taboo subject with my mum its like if we don't talk about
It then we can pretend it didn't happen.I need to get searching into my past because I suffer
From depression,anxiety and I abuse drugs daily to try to mask the depression....

Much dependent on them.these scars are just a constant reminder that I have problems
That need to be dealt with also lmy drug use is increasing as the depression
sinead12 sinead12
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 18, 2010

One day they will be a constant reminder of what you have grown past.<br />
I hope you get the motivation and help you need to push past your pain. <3