It's Only A Secret Out Of Simplicity.

I've had a crush on a girl for a while now, with it even persisting through a relationship (that has since ended).  She probably doesn't know.  And the only reason she doesn't is because I don't see it going anywhere.  There's a bit of an age difference that suggests we're in different phases of life (I'm 28 and she's 21), she lives two states away, and she's already seeing someone.  And even ignoring that, I have no problem admitting we probably don't even know each other that well, I'm only around her neighborhood for a few parties thrown by a mutual friend maybe four or five times out of the year and beyond that is just whatever we post on Facebook.

Today's the day after one of these parties where we saw each other for a little while, and there was some flirtation going both ways, and even before that she seemed happy I would come down, so I've wondered if my crush is at least somewhat mutual.  Thought about messaging her about it just to get it off my chest and maybe justify things if I accidentally crossed any lines (not that I think I did), but don't want to ruin anything either.  But let's face it, it's probably better everything's at least explained, even if I'm including the part about not expecting to do anything about it, and if I didn't then the next time we meet up would probably end up more or less the same, so it's probably a matter of time before I quit stopping myself and admit it.  Here's hoping it's sooner rather than later.

EDIT: I told her a day after posting this.  I pretty much got the reaction I expected -- she thought it was sweet, but shot me down, but I told her I expected as much and just wanted her to know so there wasn't any awkwardness later.  Who knows, maybe things will change later, but for now I'm okay with how things went, and still think letting her know was the right choice.
Arpijy Arpijy
26-30, M
1 Response Feb 26, 2012

I think it's good you told her. At least now you know for sure.

Ironically you posted that the day after the next time we saw each other. Her boyfriend was also there so any sort of flirting was subdued, but she was able to sneak in a "I love you " after I did something the entire room found hilarious. I don't have any hope that we'd end up together but it's nice to know there's clear like.