Ginger

I dont know why but as far as looks go, gingers appeal to me most. Especially when they have green eyes. Well I have had a crush on a ginger since first grade (I'm in high school now). In first grade I remember I sat at his table the whole year and we always talked about what we liked and hated. And we always agreed. We would move ahead of our class and finish our math workbooks before we even learned the content. And we had a blast doing it. He even taught me how to tell time when I was struggling. But we were never in the same class again. Now he is in my math class. And since the last time I was in a class with him I changed a lot. I became depressed and insecure when I was diagnosed with Trichotillomania. But you can read that story later. And because of that I have become so shy and only talk when I'm comfortable. So I just stare at him all day but never talk to him. He is so perfect! His personality is the one I look for. I just wish that he would see me, talk to me, get me to open up and be myself so that I can show him that I am still the same smart and fun girl he used to have a blast with. Actually I just woke up from a dream about him. In my dream I paid my friend 16ยข to get him and then we met on some stairs and I talked to him. It was awkward at first but we talked about sports, the Olympics, and the same likes and dislikes thing. In my dream I was so happy that I got to talk to him. But when I woke up I realimodest wasn't real. My biggest fear is that he knows I like him. Because last year on Valentines day I sent him a box of candy hearts and said from your secret admirer. So if I talk to him randomly he might know. And one more detail: I constantly stare at him without even knowing that I'm doing it. And one time he asked my partner in math a question so I took a chance and answered and I totally messed up all my words! So any advice will be greatly appreciated. I just want to at least be friends. So that he can recognize the true me.
Doplayors Doplayors
13-15, F
Sep 8, 2012