I Am A Dirty Liar And A Manipulator!

I don't even remember when I started manipulating people...and the ones I manipulated the most were the ones closest to me. I acted that I had severe migraines and that I was very sick when my father took a transfer to a place where I had no friends. I am an only child and always had problems with making friends. In this new place, I could make NO friends despite my best efforts. So, even though I knew I was hurting my parents, I acted as if I was very ill until he took a transfer back to a familiar place.

Then, I had a huge crush on a guy in high school. I was sure he was my sou lmate. However, he never gave me a second look and I went into depression for more than 15 years.

In college, I liked a guy who was with me for a week or so before he chose to shun me. He was not talking to me in college and to make him talk to me, I lied that my father just had a heart attack and may die soon. Only to find that when I came back home, my father had really passed away due to a major heart attack. He was away at an uncle's house to attend her daughter's wedding! I felt that God had given me a punishment for my disgusting ruse and a lesson for life.

When I was about 22, I lied to my mother and experimented sexually with another love interest of mine. I lost my virginity to this guy and did some disgusting things in public - in parks and what not! But in two years, I had understood that he only meant me to be the provider and a slave to him. He wanted to live off my money doing nothing and insulting me all the time.

Finally, I met the guy whom I am married too. I really wanted to marry him but I was depressed and angry. To win him, I lied and lied about several things. Until I manipulated him to like me. Two years into the marriage, I was finally cured of the depression and the loneliness. My husband really loves me and I know that. But I am ashamed to have won him with so many lies! He still believes in some of them to this day but do not care much about them.

Sometimes, I feel like a compulsive liar and a manipulator. What do you think?
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 17, 2013