Who Knew...

In a million years I never dreamed that I would become a 'statistic'...  I met an amazing man on line over a year ago.  I have been married for over 15 years and absolutely love my husband.  Me and I will call him "J" just have this connection that at times, I can't even believe.  Our relationship has progressed, as much as it can by phone and webcam, to a pretty serious thing.  We are both in committed marriages and as much as we wish (and hope and pray!), we will both stay that way. "Someday" is our mantra and I just hope to be able to meet him in person.  Even if to just be able to hug him and say hi. 

I never would have dreamt that I would be in this type of relationship.  I truly love this man.  He is gorgeous, funny, charismatic, a father and he has this incredible sense of humor.  We both believe that there is a REASON we met. 

I suppose I should feel guilty about this since I am married.  But I don't.  And if I thought I could meet him tomorrow without anyone knowing, I would be there in a heartbeat.  My best friend knows about the situation.  She trusts my judgement and has come to appreciate what he does for me.  We truly help each other out in our lives.  As hard as that can be to believe.... I know it is true. 

 

Fancy Fancy
36-40, F
6 Responses Jul 10, 2007

I feel guilty, but excited, it is a rush, and I don't know what to do.

To put it in perspective, maybe I should have mentioned that these are the questions I ask myself having been in a sexless marriage and having one extramarital liaison. <br />
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I felt no guilt either. Mostly, just overwhelming sadness to be in the situation. I thought maybe I could "get some on the side" and salvage the marriage by not having to focus on being so damn horny all the time. In the end, I realized it was too dishonest a way for me and worse, if she ever found out it would be so horribly cruel.<br />
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The funny thing is that the woman I was with was in an open marriage. Her husband knew and approved.

No worries HWP. Our respective spouses do not know. The guilt does sneak up from time to time. Part of me wonders if that means I am bad person since I don't feel the guilt all the time... He is in a sexless marriage and that just kills me as he has shared that pain with me. You can't ask or 'grill' me about too much as my best friend has worked me through regarding this. :0)

<b>*** When I finished writing this I realized it was like a grilling session. I just want you know I am sincerely interested, I'm not calling you out or judging. ***</b><br />
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Three years? That's intense. Do your respective spouses know? Or do they know you have a 'friend'? I'm interested in knowing how you handle it either way. Out and out lying or subtle omissions of the 'whole' truth? I understand you don't feel guilty about the relationship itself, but what about the deception part? Does it come easy?

Crazy aint it! Who knew that three years later we would still be as connected!

WOW! That is probably the most honest thing I've read on EP.