My Last Tear

im 17 and it  might be my age that makes me feel this way. but right now im on the urge to suicide. I though being pretty was enough but its rather be the ugliest girl in the world and be the happiest. but no i act what i am not. i dont like many stuff very insecure have three sister that are said to be very beautiful but in front of them im th eugly duckling and im pushed to the back my parents favor  them very much. ive realized i grown older i see more of the story.. mom dosent grow up shes 34 and with three teen daughters she acts like one of us and fights with us..not very motherly and my dad hes just there making money working all the time using us as servents (it wouldnt be as servents if he asked nicely, but he dosent he tells us as his slaves that cleaning is our job). im tierd of all this constant yelling in the car that fustrates me because i dint want tio yell back. i try my best not to talk back but once it acumilates all in i just bust and take it all out!! im just  tierd and to top it off i have a very uncopperative boyfriend who his life is "PERFECT" ofcourse rich kid wasting his parents money.who is happily and NEVER fights with his sibilings ofcourse he says he understands me but in reality he dosent and never will.....
sdiazbunny sdiazbunny
4 Responses Mar 4, 2012

i am 17 too, and in the beginning of being 17 i felt the same way about suicide, but i got over it
i hope you will be able to get over it too <3 kathy

Wow. **** man. No offense but I really hate people like u. I'm jealous of pretty people but if they don't see how amazing that is then its a waste. I've tried to kill myself quite a few times. I'm fat and ugly but I'm normally a very happy person. Seeing my brother try to kill so many people messed me up mentally and I will never be the same. I'm becoming dumb as well as fat and ugly. I have nothing.
U should just go to a mental hospital. They really help and after 4, my family finally understands that I'm a fragile being. With out my meds, I freaked out and they thought I was possessed. Trust me, u have nothing to complain about. Suck it up please. Just remember that others have it far worse.

Okay well everyone is diffrent. And just because you may sy that prettu people have it all and shoul be happy its not like tha maybe i feel this because ths is my worst see. I might have not gone throufh what you have gone through but everyones situation is diffrent! So dont tell me to stop complaining because writing on this blog is what helps me through my hard days..thank you very much

Sorry. I guess your right. I hope u accept my apology

Stay strong and **** them all! Don't give in! The best thing you can do is have a great life. Live for yourself.

its going to be ok ive been there stay strong you can live throu this <3 messege me we can talk.


your welcome. i get that life can be a real **** hole ! but think ahead! in two years you will be on your own nd not have to see any of them if thats what u want. just have to wait it out and make a change

Its been two years, its weird to come back and read this and your advice. It all helped me. I've come to love myself and now have been places I've fell in love with and lived outside of home a couple of times but my home is with my family. And I'm happy about that!