Life Changing

You know when you just want to give up...and end everything in your life? Well I did about three years ago when I lost my friendship with my mother, all because she was a drunken mess. I've never really shared this with anyone before except for my father, who was obviously there for me when this happened. My parents got divorced when I was about five years old and ever since then I always went back and forth between houses; although they lived about a hour away from each other. Both eventually got remarried and my dads wife had kids who convinced to move down and live with them, which forced me to move away from my mother. Yes, that was such a hard decision in my life but apparently it was for the best in the long run. One weekend when it was her weekend, my brother and I went up for a visit..and that same night around one am she came home completely shitfaced and was blaring music.. seeing how my brother was like ten at the time I was being the bigger sister and went out and turned the music down for him and she made a big deal out of it and called me some choice words. Let you know I was only about fifteen at the time so I didn't think of how defensive she was at the time because she was so intoxicated. She then proceeded to come into mine and my brothers room and yell and cuss at us. I got up and tried to put her to bed and she pushed me and tried to strangle me, she put her hands around my neck. It was the scariest thing in my life, getting taken away from the cops and having my brother see all of that happen. Now she lives and Florida and wants to see me after three years of not speaking or seeing her. I'm nervous because I still haven't forgiven her and I still don't trust her at all. I just don't know what to do... What do you think I should do?
SurferGirlRI SurferGirlRI
18-21, F
Sep 6, 2012