Shhhh.

*Hugs* I've been there. I was a chubby child and it wore my self esteem down. I started not eating as a "diet" at 8. I went back and forth with it, but it got REALLY bad at around 15/16 years old. I was the lowest weight a 10 year old girl should be as a full grown woman. It's a hard thing to go through. Even if a part of you realizes what you're doing isn't good, you still can't stop. It's an addiction. Even after reaching your original "goal weight" you go further. You want to keep seeing the number on the scale go lower. You never feel good enough no matter what.
I wish I had advice for you. Honestly though, if I hadn't gotten pregnant I would have never stopped and died eventually. It's still a struggle now to stop myself. Just know you're not alone.

I've had an eating disorder for 2+ years. It started as a diet. That's what I honestly believed it to be. It turned to bulimia. Someone told me that I'm killing myself. I don't care. I'd rather die trying than be fat forever. I'm 17 and weigh 200lbs. My end consumes me and I have no intentions of changing that even though I've been taken away for end treatment. I just lied my way out. If u don't want to change, guard that secret like its life or death. If u do wanna change, find a support group. I don't suggest going to therapy for it because all the ones I had talked to me like I'm retarded and they all said the same thing. Just eat right. Wtf is that. Obviously I can't just 'eat right.' You really have to either find it in yourself or find It in peers. Another thing, something that made me stop purging ( for a few weeks anyways) 'you can be big and beautiful'. Idk why it helped me then but it doesn't anymore. I've moved on to drugs and they really help with weight loss