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Love Lettersss

My husband and I have been married for a few years.  When we bought our home I brought with me a box that contained old letters, awards, sketches and more.  The items were those that I had accumulated over the years, but mostly from my Jr. high and high school years. 

Last week, I decided to go through the box and found stacks of love letters from a former boyfriend.  We were together through high school, college and years after.  For many years I thought we'd marry.  Of course the relationship didn't last and I met my husband who I love dearly.  I know it would crush my husband if he found these letters but I can't bring myself to trash them. 

I feel terrible hiding this secret from my husband but he just wouldn't understand.  

starchedcookies starchedcookies 18-21, F 16 Responses Feb 1, 2010

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We all have hidden secrets. Been looking through my old diary lately ,WOW!! Forgot about some of the things that happened.

you clearly feel guilty about keeping them ..which leads me to believe you may have a reason to feel guilty?



You love your husband dearly - you also know he would be hurt by the fact you choose to hang onto these letters despite many years gone of you both sharing a happy marriage.



hmm strange scenario



When I realised I was happily married I threw out ALL of my cards & love letters ...more as a mark or respect to my husband. I had written to me some beautiful letters which were almost dog eared they had been read over and over when I needed them.



But the past IS the past. And when I devote my self to someone I do so 100% .

Personally speaking - when I came across them again during a clear out I realised they meant very little ...right then



My husband & I have since had our difficulties.

But this doesn't change anything I dont hanker back to the past. It makes no difference I let them go I have no regrets.



Besides... the letters were that special I can still remember the essence of what they said.



You cant scrub memories ..and sometimes stuff from the past is better left that way ;)

I still have letters from my ex, that my current partner doesn't know about, although I think he would be really hurt If he knew as my ex was also his close friend. I felt like I couldn't part with them so I found the best and easiest solution is to put yourself in his shoes how would u feel if u found a box of photos and letters of his ex girlfriend or wife?

It has been pointed out several times that there seems to be a discrepancy in your story, mainly about your age. So you found some old, hot letters. If you love your husband so much, why can't you let them go? I found letters my husband had stashed away, and I read them. I found that he had had an affair with his cousin. Further down the road, I found out other things: he had had 4 other wives, each marriage lasted less than 2 years. He had a son that he almost never saw. Eventually, he hooked up with internet trolls. The original secret I discovered was just the tip of the iceberg. He was dishonest and a liar, although if you met him, you'd be impressed with him. I don't think it's good to have secrets. Seems you have 2 choices: get rid of the evidence, or shar with him. Probably he isn't going to mind. Most people have a past, it's silly to think they don't.

It's evidence of how deeply capable you are to love another human being. Keep em.

things dont add up you're here as a 16-17 yr female and you went through high school and college with a boyfriend? Odd isnt it? you've been married for a few years ??? when did u get married and how did u get past the legal age? i think u need to do yo maths right before u decide to lie and do it so poorly.

Keep the letters.



I had a girlfriend who still had warm feelings (but zero sexual intentions) to one of her exes. No problem.



May I ask: could you handle if your husband had a similar stash of letters?

I found letter such as these in my mother's desk drawer. I asked her why she didn't just throw them away. She said she just wasn't ready yet. Though she loves my father very much and they have been married for nearly 25 years now.

If I fell in love with a girl I don't think I could think of anyone but her. Then again, I've never been in a relationship.

I too have a box of memories from high school :]. Of course, i am only twenty, so it was only a few years ago. The box, though, is only full of things from my ex. Whether its pictures, flower petals, or little gifts. I am currently living with my boyfriend who I love dearly. But i would never throw away something that once meant so much to me. Sometimes I feel guilty having a box full of old memories in an apartment i'm sharing with another man. But the things in that box helped me become who i am today :]. And i will never throw out something that had such an impact on me. You shouldn't either :].

it sounds like the bigger secret is your age :/

The thing about secrets is that it puts a wedge between you and your other. On the other hand, telling them your secret can also drive a wedge between you. No way to win on this one. I say, don't leave evidence you don't want someone to find.

Ok...well, if you really are married and this story is true....I'd say keep the letters. It's a part of your past. As long as those letters don't affect the way you feel about your husband, then it shouldn't be a big deal. I'm sure he has plenty of stuff from his ex's that you may not know about. My fiance has a few things from his ex's and I'm fine with it. He doesn't look through the stuff and he never brings it up in front of me. It's all out of respect. I have a few things myself from my first love. But just out of curiosity....why does it say your 16-17 on your profile?

thinking that what you said must be 100percent wrong because what you said is of mature women and you are still 16,did you married before 10 or something or is it because you want to collect such imformation in advance?

I also agree with Tehya

I would say let the pass good and get rid of the letters. So since making a new issue of something that is old to your husband, he has feeling too. Have you ever told your husband you had sex before you got married, so don't start now.

I think that he would be okay with it because you are both mature adults. (hopefully!)