Love My Family, Maybe Not...

I used to be able to share everything with my parents, with my siblings, with my friends! But now, its just hard for me sometimes to go through a day without hating them all! I guess what they they growing up. But I feel no love whatsoever for my parents or my siblings. I love my friends, I owe them my life. They are my real sisters and brothers. I haven't really loved my family for maybe three years, give or take. I'm not even a teenager yet, but I have been through a lot of crap in my life so far. You know how parents tell you every single day, "I love you ______," mine do. But their words are empty, dead without meaning. And it hurts to hear them tell me those endless lies. But I'm spossed to be the perfect child, I'm spossed to live up to, and outshine my four older sbilings.  So every day I have to put on the fake smiles and sing the fake songs. It doesn't really matter if life is a game of Simon Says. Somebody once told me that even if life is just a game of Simon Says, we all lose sometime. Only one person can survive until the end. I'm spossed to be that person. It kills me that I can't be! As much as I want to break away and be my own person I know that I can't be. Not as long as I don't love my family.  So what I want to know is if anyone has any advice for a confused 12 year old girl, besides talking to my family. My family is not close, that would not be a good idea. So, do you?

redupp redupp
13-15, F
Feb 19, 2010