Hate's Just Being There, Like A Doll

The things in my life just seem out of my control, I'm just there doing what people tell me to do or going with the flow. I think i can describe this as being a doll i guess....you just dress in what people give you. If you asked me what i liked or loved I really couldn't tell you, if the things you show me make me happy, I couldn't say. I don't even know what makes me happy. Feelings are forced when I'm around people, they say that everything that happens to yourself is caused by ones' self, I have no one to blame but myself, I hate how i'm just doll when I think of myself.

Paradox22 Paradox22
18-21, F
7 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Oh that made me smile, you made it sound so warming, I'm trying alot of different, the i think i need right now is just someone or more then one person to talk too, i think that is why i like this site

Guess what? You are not just a doll. Want to know why? Because you wrote "I hate how i'm just doll when I think of myself". Hate is an emotion and That by default means you do "Feel". You may be confused on what direction your life needs to move forward in...which can lead to "going with the flow" and "being told what to do". It's so easy for us to get caught in the cycle of just moving through life without actually "living our lives". I do this myself. The brillant part for you is, you are recognizing that this is not how you want to live. The difficult part is breaking out of this lifestyle and allowing yourself to feel, live, love, hurt, need, want, desire and push. It's so easy for all of us here to offer advice and say do this or that...it's quite difficult however for any of us to take our own advice. My honest hope is that you are able to break free of your doll lifestyle. Keep writing and telling us how you feel. Maybe in doing so, you will be able to find some inner peace and a direction that will make you happy. Please try. Wishing you all the best!!!! =)<br />

Yea i have been feeling the exact same way Im in a sort of emotionless stae all there is is emptness and nothing to fill the void And i was beginning to question my existince. and im in the state of suicidal thoughts right now. i dont know what to do and no one will even come close too listening and im filling the void with emptyness and hate wich soon developes in to ultimate boredom i dont want to do anything but than i thought what is wrong with me and i remebered that i havnt asked God what to do annd now that i am im feeling a little bit better just ask God he can do anything. If you have questions about God message me nice profile pic bye the way.

I think i feel better just hearing some imput from people, it's nice. (I'm really sorry I'm just unfeeling at the moment)

So true, how can you be yourself if everyone is pushing you to be someone else

I have felt the same way, totally recently. I even wrote a long page in my journal about it. It's not a nice feeling, and the sad part is, how to become real? There is a way though, I am sure of that. It's probably something about being only what God plans for you to be, thus becoming your fullest potential, and not worrying about what other people expect you to be. But I'm not sure, it's something I'm still sorting out too. *sigh* I'm sorry you feel this way too though!

good observations, to be someone's doll is not as fulfilling as deciding your own destiny.