What Do I Do?

Here's how it goes. My best guy friend Josh (who is my age: 18) is dating my friend Ariana (who turned 16 this past Tuesday). Let's start with just those two for now. Ariana whines and ******* and complains while Josh treats her like a princess. He does everything he can to make her happy and doesn't do anything to make himself happy. He has given up on hanging out with his friends for her, given up on his life, basically. Just yesterday she calls me and says, "Can you keep a secret?" I have a strict policy: What goes in the phone, stays in the phone. Granted, I don't count that if I am talking to a therapist, my mother, or people who don't know the people I am talking about. Nevertheless. She tells me, "I'm thinking of breaking up with Josh." I informed her that I anticipated that. They have recently been having fights over the stupidest, stupidest, stupidest little things. Always. Her. Fault. But she blames it on him every time! So then I remembered that her Sweet Sixteen is that weekend. Josh was supposed to be going. I said that she shouldn't break up with him just a few days before the party. And she says, "Of course not! I need an escort! But I'll break up with him after the party." I was in shock! She was just using him as an escort at this point! So, after having to bite my tongue, I say, "At least don't break up with him immeditely after the party. That would be mean."

"Oh, no, I'll wait at least a week or two. But then it's see ya later sucker!" I actually did have to bite my tongue on that one. I wanted to yell at her so much, so badly! And as I sit there in silent shock and anger, she begins to go into the reasons why they are breaking up. "He's just suffocating me! I mean he's just so possessive and territorial and he always wants to know where I am and who I'm with and blah, blah, blah, *****, *****, *****!" Um...excuse me? From what I've heard, both from Josh and personal experience: YOU beg him to pick you up from school, driving miles in a car he can just barely afford to put gas into, just because you don't feel like taking the bus. YOU beg him to take you on dates and out to places when you know he can't afford that right now. YOU ask him to call you and text you and bother, bother, BOTHER him every night and ***** and complain!

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my Ari to death but..............REALLY!?!?!?!

This is where is gets even worse.

"I have to tell you another secret..." she says. "I cheated on him." .....What....


"Last week."

"With whom?"


"ARI!" Here is where the others come into play. Dometrious and Dana, two freshmen, both about 15 years old and also very close friends of mine. Dometrious and Dana are dating but have been having some issues. Dana leans more towards girls, but she was giving guys a chance. She is still unsure of her feelings for him, so Dometrious is having a bit of a hard time because he really likes her. But he still apparently doesn't care enough if he is going to go and cheat on Dana with Ariana!

This is what burns me up most. Dometrious not only cheated on Dana, he assisted in helping someone else cheat on their boyfriend. I can never look at him the same way again. Ever.

So now I am faced with a very, very harsh...well...I can hardly call it a decision.

Among all four of them, the ones I would consider myself closest to are Josh...and in this case, Dana. Normally, Ariana would rule over but after all the stuff she has said and done, I'm not quite sure I care enough for her anymore.

Can I tell Josh? Dare I tell him? And when? Before the party, after the party, at the party? After they break up, before they break up? And am I going to only warn him that she wants to break up or will I inform him of the cheating as well?

As for Dana...while I'm pretty sure she has only friendly feelings for Dometrious, she will be ******* pissed if she learns he cheated on her. Do I dare tell her and risk a big blow-up factor between my friends? If Dometrious and Dana break up peacefully, I have no reason to tell. They will still be friends and it won't bother me as much.

But no matter how I look at it with Ariana and Josh's case, I can't figure out what to do. If I tell Josh, he could tell Ariana and I will have broken my promise to her. But if I don't tell Josh, it will break his heart. If I tell Josh about the cheating, he will tell Ariana and potentially kill Dometrious. But if I don't tell, he will still be broken up about the breaking up. And if he somehow finds out about the cheating, he will potentially kill Dometrious. What if he finds out I knew all along and I didn't tell him? Won't he feel betrayed? I can already hear him in my mind.

"Why didn't you tell me? Warn me about this? Why are you on her side when you know all the stuff that she does and says that hurts me? Why! How could you betray me like this?"

Oh, dear lord, I need help...


UnderneathWhatYouSee UnderneathWhatYouSee
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 4, 2010

You need to tell your best friend Josh, but you have to take the consequences he may shoot the messenger if you know what I mean. You need to state facts. Your best friend will be hurting for a while. Don't let your friend get way in over his head money wise especially in your USA economy not worth it. It sounds like your friend Ari needs a giant kick up the *** and if she goes with out her "escort" so be it, she will have to bear the consequences alone plus who knows what she might get up to on the night.