Scared Of Fighting Back..

My family is somewhat dysfunctional. Everyone is caught in a confusing web of mangled control, personal problems, distrust, malice, and small lies. My soulmate (who I will call Wolf) has known my cousin's boyfriend (I will call Lee) in the past, and one nights storytelling by a half-asleep witness caused Lee to forever mistrust and blame everything on Wolf. Lee and her have pretty much assumed power in the house, but nobody is quite sure where the true power lies. Wolf sees through it, and actually gets furious over the fact that they rule the house as much as they do. He keeps trying to get me to stand up for myself but I can't do it.. deep down, I'm afraid of getting too angry. The last time I did, I ended up blacking out and waking up with a ruptured disk in my spine. I feel like I will lose control if things get too heated, and my cousin I just cannot argue with, she's too good at making you shut up either by confusing you or yelling so loud at you you stop thinking. I am unfortunately at the mercy of my self centered, slightly psychotic mom because she is my only transportation to the outside world. Unfortunately as well, Wolf is not as good at holding his temper as I am (I'm a woman, so I am quite good at it) so he has flown off the handle many times and got to the point that I am scared of getting to, forcing me to restrain him until he came back to his senses. I am so stuck and do not know what to do, especially considering I'm empathic and any emotions around me, especially the ones felt by Wolf, seem as if they are my own, so in these situations I am rendered useless.

Kyrinae Kyrinae
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 11, 2010

Hi get some space from people u have the answer to the rest try being around nature I'm pisces so when I was a child I had a very dysfunctional household and would just leave and be by myself I hope this helps and last thing b4 words there was the language of emotions it's important to feel our own