Everyone Has To Accept It.

But I don't want to. My phobia started after my aunt died when I was 13 years old. (6 years ago) Ever since then I have had reoccurring thoughts about dying and what happens when we go. I guess I'm just scared of not knowing what is going to happen after I take my last breath. Does it all end or do we truly reunite with the ones we love in heaven? That is the only question I have. I want to believe our souls live on but I guess I am like all of you and need proof. I get a panic attack at least once every 3 weeks or so. I don't know how it is triggered, all I know is it scares me so much. I begin to get these thoughts like what will happen to me, will I be forgotten eventually, will I even be alive in 10 years, what if I die in one minute because of some horrible sickness I didn't know I had, etc. The thoughts just keep coming until I eventually hyperventilate and pass out. I know we will never be able to stop worrying because the sad truth is it it going to happen eventually, but we all need to figure out a way to deal with this knowledge and live our lives the best we can without worries. Sadly I am still trying to find my own personal way of coping.
amj904 amj904
18-21, F
2 Responses Apr 18, 2011

You are not alone....i am recently coming out of an episode. I have been dealing with this since I was 15. We find ways to cope. No one knows and its scarey as hell, but just have faith and breathe.

sorry to hear your going through this amj.. i been going through this off and on since i was 15.. this last time it lasted for 6 months, dont let it consume ya sweetie that will take you into a deep depression. I am coming out of it again and just trying not to think about it. cant tell ya how to cope with it, i dont have the answers for ya.. but again dont let it consume ya