I Have A Severe Fear Of Death.

I have a severe fear of death. Unlike many people here I cannot tell you when this fear stared. However my fear of aging is fairly new.

I have had a lot of changes in my life from this past two years. My grandfather past away a couple months back, my aunt past away last October (2010) my grandmother past away the October before that.

My fear of death was before all this, however this did not help. Just last night I woke up grabbed my pillow tight, and just stared balling my eyes out. And saying “I can’t die, I can’t get older, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t” All at the same time trying the catch my breath. It took me half an hour to try to calm myself.

The last time I have done that had to of been around the time my aunt was passing away with cancer.

I do have my own thoughts about the afterlife. I do read Sylvia Browne. And I do think that what she has said about the afterlife is true. However when I get into one of those scared out of my skin moments nothing helps.

This thought I cannot get over is being someone/thing that I’m not. Let me explain the best I can.

Right now I’m me (Pooh90). I cannot see me as another soul. Umm… So in this life I’m Pooh90, well when I’m on the other side, I will be more than just me I could be Piglet80 and remember many of my past lives. There for I’m not the Me I Know.

I have no clue if that made any sense at all. I cannot explain it as well is I though.

Another change for my life is I quit my old job, long story, so now I work at a nursing home. I have been there for about 4 months. I have gone through a lot working there, as they all are older people. Closer to be going home.

Sorry I’m gonna stop rambling on about my life story. But what I really what to know is how can I calm myself down and get over my fear of death. I cannot life my live in fear of death, and be afraid to live.

Just to clear this up it is a fear of death not dyeing. I’m not afraid of how it’s going to happen, I’m afraid of what happens afterwards.

Pooh90 Pooh90
18-21, M
2 Responses Nov 12, 2011

I am thantophobic too. I get physically sick and have panic attacks, and sometimes cry, which I am embarrassed to show this emotion. I actually helped myself by going to church, and (i know this is lame) watching my little pony, because it made me realize i have things to live for. I hear voices when I am laying in bed alone at night, and I scrunch up in my room, fearing the darkness.

I totally followed the part about not being the "Me that I know." This is my main fear as well. Even if I could be certain that the soul continues in other forms (either other people or trees or animals, etc), I can't wrap my mind around the concept of being anyone other than the ME I am in this life. This is because all we know is who we are and what we've experienced in this life. So I think about things like what happens to all of my thoughts and emotions? The main source of my panic seems to be in the concept of "eternity." Regardless what happens once this life is over, can you really fathom anything going on forever? I can't tell you how to calm your panic because I haven't even figured it out for myself yet. But I do find some peace in knowing that whatever it is, we all go through it together. Every single being experiences whatever this "change" is.