The Afterlife Or The Lack Of

For the last 8 months I have been consumed with my mortality. I know death is inevitable, but I fear it. It is not so much death, but what happens after death. Is there nothing; an empty void with no self-awareness, or is there truely some define place of peace where I can reunite with the souls of my loved ones? I often struggle to sleep at night, so overwhelmed by thoughts of death. I wish I could go back to my normal self, and enjoy my wonderful life. I wish I was a spiritual person, but my rational mind will not allow me to believe in blind faith. Can anybody help?
MLTravis MLTravis
31-35, F
4 Responses Feb 9, 2013

You don't have to have blind faith to find paradise beyond death. I haven't seen death so I won't know, obviously. I've had a glimpse of it. It was the most liberating and serene feeling I've ever experienced.

If you are so concerned about death, why not sit quietly and listen to it? Maybe it wants to shed some light on your fear? One cannot rationalize or intellectualize death. It has to reach you through intuition, heart and soul. There is nothing a human soul cannot handle, and that includes death itself.

I understand completely where you're coming from and how you're feeling. I've been suffering with panic attacks about death for some years now-although I never went and sought medical help for it. I think it started it my early teen years when I realized that yes, I am going to die one day...and I can't stop it. What frightens me is the materialistic facts, mostly. I imagine my body decomposing, lifeless...I think about my existence ceasing. All that I am and will be, will eventually be meaningless.
I fear not knowing where we go or what happens. I was raised Catholic, but I never believed. I think that our rational and skeptic mind is our demise. I would love to have faith, but I can't. Now, especially, since my mother's suicide (story on here, if one cares to read), I find it harder and harder to try to believe in anything. The truth is, I (we) work myself (ourselves) up (literally have to move, move, move! or I'll freak out) for something that we can't escape...and maybe that realization is our true fear. Hope we find our answers one day...sooner before later would be best.

One way I can help you is by letting you know that you are not alone. I have fears similar to yours. Not that I am qualified to give any advice, because I am pretty nuts right now when it come to my death obsession, but some things I have done that have helped me a little are as follows.... 1. I took out plenty of life insurance for my kids 2. I went to a lawyer and made a living trust and will. 3. I put together a packet of all of my financial stuff for my kids along with instructions of where to call and go and how to get everything. 4. I organized all of my stuff and cleaned out my private things in case I did die and strangers or loved ones had to go through all my stuff. 5. I took out long term disability insurance. 6. I wrote down where I want to be buried. I didn't buy a plot yet because I am only 44 and I feel like that is morbid.

By doing the above things, it made me feel like if I do die soon, at least my kids are taken care of. Even if you don't have kids, you can do some of the above things too. It will give you some piece of mind.

Another idea is to try to get published. If you ever read famous poetry, mortality is a common topic. Supposedly, becoming published makes you, in a sense, immortal. I know, blah blah blah. It is the best I can do, however. I am just sharing with you what I have come up with.

Is there a reason that you don't expect to 'make old bones'? Anytime that we allow anxiety to deprive us of sleep, we tend to be setting up a vicious circle/cycle. Relaxation. Deep-breathing. Stretching.<br />
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If you would like to believe in an afterlife, then faith is all you have. Other than self-deception, it is all that anyone has ever had.<br />
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I don't know about non-Christian churches but if you plop yourself down inside an evangelical Christian church, you will be encouraged to believe that Jesus is an active force in your own daily life. *As a believer*, you pray and you know that you will be heard. You share with others and are ministered to by, often, inspired leaders. You will also pray as part of the group and, sometimes, you will see those prayers, well, ...answered.

death is the only thing that is certain. it's the only thing that we can rely on at the end of the day. think about that. even life is not certain. when a women gets an abortion, the baby still dies, yet it never lived as the heart was not yet developed. death will be our only friend one day.