i have a sever fear of death and dying. and its just not me its also fear that my mum, dad and borther would die. i try to stay awake and avoid sleeping to make sure that im still breathing in the morning. i dont want any of my closest family to die alone. everyone needs company no matter what the situation is....

ccdo ccdo
22-25, F
14 Responses Jul 21, 2009

I am thantophobic too. I get physically sick and have panic attacks, and sometimes cry, which I am embarrassed to show this emotion. I hear voices when I am laying in bed alone at night.

You should not fear death, As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.For thine is power, the glory and the kingdomy. One day we are all going to die so you may as well accept it.

For many years, from the time I found out about the reality of death at age 5, I was extremely anxious and afraid of dying. Perhaps it was the way I was told or perhaps it is normal for everyone to experience the fear. My brother did not have the same fear, and used to tell me to just "pretend you won't die", but I couldn't do that, knowing that everyone does. I am lucky not to have lost anyone really, really close to me except my grandparents, and even that was difficult. However, I overcame my fears of death by the time I was in my late 20s or early 30s. I am now no longer afraid of death. There is, I think, more fear about death by individuals in our society because we do not acknowledge mortality or even aging. It is a taboo subject -- people do not want to talk about it. <br />
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I believe that if we do not come to terms with our dying, we will not life a full life. IF we ignore our death, we waste our lives, because we act as if we have an unlimited amount of time here. <br />
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The best way I found to come to terms with death was at first to read books that dealt with people who had near death experiences, particularly children, who have no preconceived notions about what death is. Their stories are very inspiring and very pure. I also read stories about people who claim to recall past lives -- again, children have more spontaneous and pure memories of past lives ("Children's Past Lives" was a good book about that). It gave me the sense that the human consciousness and soul not only survive past this life, but can survive multiple lives. Dr. Brian Weiss's "Many Lives, Many Masters" talks about his hypnotizing a patient who not only talked about her past life memories, but talked about her between life memories, which kind of put things into a better perspective about what the meaning of life is, for me. <br />
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I also read books by mediums like John Edward, Lisa Williams, James Van Praagh, and George Anderson. <br />
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I needed to have a sense that if life went on, there must be some indication of that. I also now get meaning from reading about spiritual guides and guardian angels. I have been away from any organized religion for about 17 years, but I do believe that there is spiritual help available to us if we want it and ask for it. I have seen it in my own life and have read many testimonies to that effect. As a result, I believe that we not only experience a physical existence here for our own spiritual growth, but we work in harmony with non-physical entities who are also trying to improve their spiritual growth. Kind of like co-pilots -- they are in the spiritual realm and we are in the physical realm and we are working in tandem toward a certain purpose. On our end, we may or may not realize our purpose, but if we become more spiritual, meditate, calm our minds and thoughts, we come to know inside what it is we are meant to do, and we should do that. The spiritual helpers are trying to help us and communicate with us and we need to be open to that. That is what I have come to believe. <br />
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In addition, books like "The Field" and "The Intention Experiment" as well as "Eagle's Quest" add a scientific understanding to how the unseen world might work and how we fit into that energetically, physically, and how capable we are to affect the world and our lives. <br />
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I hope this helps. Don't be afraid. Death is, I am sure, just another birth experience into our next phase of growth. Think of it as summer vacation between semesters.

Hi ccdo,<br />
I read your entry and did read some of the replies. But I Do want to let you know that your not alone,,,,I honestly thought that I was. I fear death every day,,why?,,I don't have a clue. Its on my mind the whole time I'm awake,,and when I go to bed at night,,I'm afraid I'll die in my sleep..I use to have the fear of my parents and siblings passing away. I remember telling myself that there would be No way that I could handle the death of one of my parents or one of my sisters,,or brother.....Well I've lost my dad,,and made it thru,,and just last year my brother died at the age of 51 to cancer..... Since my brothers passing my fear has grown. I am seeking counseling,,but I ask myself,,what can they do? How can they help?.......I'm just in hopes that there is Something they can do,,so I can Live without thinking about dying everyday. I'm with ya,,,and hang in there....Somehow,,someway,,we will get this thought out of our heads.

I went through this too, my friend. I reached a point where I came to realise that death is not only an inevitable, but natural part of life.<br />
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I also used to fear going to sleep at night for fear that I may not wake up. It still happens every now and again. It's not death itself that I think I fear but leaving loved ones behind, without them being strong enough to cope without me and without having told them how much I love them. I try not to go angry to bed or in argument with a loved one. I want them to understand the beauty of searching for and feeling peace inside.<br />
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Now, I go to sleep praying to God knowing that He's there with me and I know I have a mission as you can do too, so I don't think I'm meant to leave just yet. I may be wrong though. That's scary because I haven't done a lot. However, "the wages of sin is death" so do your best to make sure that you are trying to do something productive with your life and God will take care of you.

aww thanks thoughts... :-) you never went on and on its was interesting what you said and i wish you well

I'm sorry to have gone on and on with my phobia story. It sounds like you've been through a lot and I can understand where your fear's coming from.<br />
Thanks for sharing your story though. I don't feel so alone with my phobia<br />
take care

i know exactly the feeling. i belive too that we will be with our families when we leave this earth it just a matter of when itll happen and what way we will go.<br />
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we will never ever know only god knows that.<br />
dont mean to add to your anxities but ive had people in my life die a painful death and thats why i wrote this story short story i may add.

I wish I didn't fear it like I do either. <br />
I just don't understand how we can be completely alive one minute, then gone the next. We have no idea when or how it will happen. I think that's where my anxiety comes in. <br />
Sometimes I wish that people we've known who have passed on could come back and tell us that it's not as scary and frightening to die as people like me think it is! <br />
I haven't gone to church for years, but the church I went to believes that we will be with our family who has passed on when we die, and that it is peaceful and it will be a great reunion. <br />
Still...I wish I could come to terms with it as easily as others do, and not be so afraid.

well i wish i could accept it like you do but as they say easier said than done :-)

I used to be like this when I was really young. I would fear every day that something bad was just bound to happen. But then my dad talked to me about it one day when he found me crying in my room at the thought of it. He told me there is no sense in living if you are going to be living in fear everyday. He was right. Not only do I no longer fear death, I accept it.

ye i suppose you make good points about death ah well when our time comes it comes and there is nothin that we can do about it :-)

thanks its good to know that i am not alone. so what do we do about these phobias? causing keepin awake is doin noone good in the long run. someone said that i just have to accept these things and move on. but im not sure that i can do that.....i want to die peacefully. how do you cope with this phobia? if youve got any tips id appreciate it greatly thanks<br />
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I also worry about dying in general. It's this terrible fear that I have every single day! I don't have any illnesses, but am scared of being in some accident just not being able to breathe or something. I wonder, is it going to be painful or a long process? How do we just cease to exist? I also stay up at night sometimes too, afraid that I will get a call that someone I know has died. I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of losing one of my children.'re not alone.