Ever since I was about 10 or 11 I've had a very frightening fear of death. When I was younger I used to obsess about being buried - not because I worried about being buried alive but because I couldn't understand what happened and where I went, that thought still terrifies me and I'm now 28 years old!

I quite often (every day) find myself thinking what's the point of everything I do - not because I'm suicidal but because we as people we form relationships, we strive to succeed and for what? We die and have no recollection of anything - anything we've ever seen or done, anyone we've ever met or loved is forgotten.


I've felt like this form over half of my life, I'm not after a mircle cure - just something that will stop my heart from pounding 90 to te dozen every time I think about it...Or even just to hear from someone who feels the same so I don't feel so odd!

lawbox18 lawbox18
26-30, F
5 Responses Oct 28, 2009

I am thantophobic too. I get physically sick and have panic attacks, and sometimes cry, which I am embarrassed to show this emotion. I hear voices when I am laying in bed alone at night.

You are not alone....

I had the same problem since i was about 8. Whenever i would really think about i would end up yelling, kicking and punching stuff etc, like a panic attack. It still gets me sometimes (not that often i guess) and i am 23 now but is never so severe as when i was younger. Its mostly when i am in that place between sleeping and being awake. I suppose the thought of oblivion and the resemblance of it to that phase is what sets it off. It always leaves me drenched in cold sweat. I don't think it will ever go away completely. <br />
In the end i think oldwarrior is right, our only control is on how we arrive there

well a life well lived is worth living, and you do have some control over how you arrive there. it will come soon for some later for others but it will come so make peace with it.

I used to be exactly like youI wasnt suicidal but id find myself stopping and wondering what the point to everything was..ami i just going to school to get a job to make money to die? what was the point of everything when we're all just going to die.<br />
<br />
However all that has changed. 3 weeks ago my dad suddenly died, and since then ive been doing research about life after death [before i was a complete skeptic about after life and such] but ive come to the conclusion that there is some sort of after life and you will be reunited with everyone who is passed. when someones their physical form may not be around but their soul is forever alive, and i truly believe that. Make the most of living while your young and have chances to take your chances.