I Didnt Know Before

I stopped working that I had sex addiction.

My councellor told me I addiction now because things that hapen to me when I was child.
I also live now in sexless marriage so it not help.
I obsess with daydreams that I s*ucking p*enis or I feel men push their p*enis inside my v*agina.
Always, so many times every day and night I just want s*ex.
I love when men look at me , it turn me on, I feel good but it also make me want p*enis.
I feel empty inside.
Sometime I hate myself for I so obsessed with wanting s*ex.
I feel at times I am worthless unless I having s*ex.
I only know I am good if men want me.
I feel so good if I know I make man h*orny so much that his p*enis get hard.
Other times I hate myself for being like that,
I just want to be normal woman,
not addict to men and their attenttions to me.
tirowki tirowki
31-35, F
7 Responses Mar 3, 2011

Sue<br />
When I child my stepfather did somethings like play with me.<br />
Read in my confession if you like

What religion is that if I may ask? -- I get the sense you are from Malaysia, so I would guess you're Muslim, sex is not sin in Islam.<br />
<br />
I know of no religion where sex really is sin when practiced between husband and wife, where does any religion claim it is sin that way? <br />
<br />
Secondly, I believe he will not be able to sustain that. He too has needs.<br />
<br />
You need to find some way out. Have you ever talked with him about this? Do you just not have the courage or have you tried? May be he is shy and doesn't think you would want it?<br />
<br />
I read a few of your other posts, and I wonder, does your husband know about your past?

He very religious man and he say sex is sin

He very religious man and he say sex is sin

Hmm, so you love him? Can you talk to him? Have you tried? The problem is, you sound like having so much pressure inside of you. This has nothing to do with addiction. You need to do something to be happy. If he is a good man, how can he torture you like this? What is the problem, why doesn't he want sex too?

Thank you Lula,<br />
Yes, but I dont know how to get out of this situation, he, my husband is good man and I dont want to divorce him.<br />
I want to be faithful to him.

You have no sex in your marriage? You are craving sex. All these thoughts that seem over the top are all explained by the fact that you are sexually starving. Suppress normal needs and they come out in thoughts that seem uncontrollable. You need to change your life to be in a situation where you get sexual satisfaction in ways that are sufficient for you and healthy.<br />
<br />
What is it that happened to you as a child that your counselor believes "caused" your current problems? Whatever it is, I don't think it is necessary to explain the natural cravings you have when living frustrated for years in a sexless marriage and -- as I am guessing -- in a cultural background that is totally intolerant and not understanding of your needs.<br />
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Please don't hate yourself. You *are* a normal woman. You have options. Say more about your situation here and you may get some fresh ideas about how you can yet live a happy and fulfilled life!