*Disclaimer: This is about how I’ve always wanted someone to have this kind of crush on me! This is how I want them to think of me and to see me. I wrote it from their perspective. Sorry but before you read this long story I must warn you that there is no sex.*




It’s just a silly crush that I have on a girl from the office. I tell myself this knowing that it boarders on obsession! I passed someone in a store one day and smelled like her perfume. When I caught up with a stranger, a lady in her late thirties I said, “I love your fragrance! What is it?” The lady smiled and said, “It’s Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden!” I knew the name of the perfume she wears! I felt thrilled and exhilarated! I had unraveled one of many mysteries about this object of my desires!


Her name is Rowan and all of my thoughts were consumed with her! She had started in a cubicle in the back, managing some specific account about two years ago. I didn’t notice her right away. One day, in my cubicle, directly across from hers, I heard her speaking on the phone to a vendor. This was the first time that I noticed her voice. It was childlike. Her accent was nondescript. The first mystery presented itself. Where is she from? A desire to know where she was from was simple enough. I could just ask her.


After lunch that afternoon I leaned over and peeked at her. She was as still as a statue. She appeared to be staring off into space. What was she thinking? Her eyes are the strangest color of light, ocean blue that I had ever seen! Her hair was cropped short and neat. It was more red than brown. She wore small, silver hoop earrings on her perfect ear lobes. From her profile, I noticed how perfect her nose was. Her lips were perfectly shaped too with shinny auburn lip stick. She was so still, I could hardly tell she was breathing. I followed her body down to her chest with my eyes to see her full breast slowly rise and fall.


I shifted my chair to make a noise so that I didn’t startle her. “Rowan?” my voice shook when I spoke her name. My face immediately felt hot with shame. Damn!


She turned her head and raised her eye brows. That was all. That was her acknowledgment!


‘I noticed,” I cleared my throat. “Your accent, where are you from?”


She grinned and shook her head as if the answer were going to be funny. Her eyes went up and then onto me. “I’ve moved around quite a bit.” She grinned.


“Military?” I asked.


She gave a low laugh and shook her head again, “No.” She laughed a bit more. ‘Indecisive.” Then she went back to staring off into space. Her grin slowly faded back to expressionless and it seemed almost as if she turned to stone again. Our conversation, to her, was clearly over. I was left with only more questions rather than answers. What a mysterious creature she was! Where the hell had she come from?


As the months passed I learned more and more about her from a distance. I didn’t trust myself enough to try any more than small talk with her. I was certain that my racing heart would cause me to spit as I spoke, trip over nothing, or say something stupid. I was able to discover that she smoked Marlboro Menthol Lights. I hated smoking and at first thought of her being a smoker was a turn off. I also learned that she drank dark coffee with artificial sweetener and a lot of cream. Soon, the smell of Green Tea perfume, stale cigarette smoke, and coffee were an aphrodisiac to me! She had other imperfections which should have made her more personable to other people, only built her up to a unique, mysterious status in my mind. She her teeth were slightly crooked and there was a small gap in the middle of the two front teeth. I was googling images of Jewel from her early career to confirm that misshapen tooth could indeed be unique, sexy, and perfectly imperfect in my cubicle all the while listening for any sign of her life from her cubicle.


There were rumors about her. There were people I went to lunch with, talked to a bit, but none I would call friends. After all, I lived alone in a one bedroom apartment with two cats and read Anne Rice novels while all of my co-workers were married, engaged, pregnant, had children, etc. No one knew that I was a lesbian though everyone knew I single. The women used to try to take me out to meet men but gave up after my many refusals. The rumors where that she was gay. Other rumors included that she was sleeping with the manager who was also female but married to man, not to mention much older and had teen age children.


Her cell phone often vibrated against her desk but she never took a personal call. She often got flower deliveries. The women in the office would swarm around her cubicle with ooosss and ahhhs asking who they were from. She smiled and dismissed them saying it was no big deal.


In the summer I became painfully aware of her body. She was tall and curvy. She never wore high heels but managed to look professional and hip at the same time. She wore grey slacks that fell to her hips and flowy fabric blouses. I learned that was beaded and made her own jewelry so that everything matched perfectly.


As the dog days of summer drew near my obsession became more and more distracting! It was nearly driving me crazy! I thought about her all the time. I wanted to ask her so many questions. I wanted to know everything about her! What music did she like? What was her favorite color? Was she a dog or cat person? Was she really gay? Who was sending her flowers? She had Van Gogh, and Monet prints pinned to her cubicle walls. I wondered if she just liked the prints, the artists, or was she an artist herself.


I thought about her at home too as I ate my oodles of noodles and watched reality TV, she was all I could think of. As I lie in bed at night, imagining her in the shower, inviting me in, imagining what her body would look like unclothed, I knew I had to get a grip on reality. I had not dated in 2 years. I was obsessed with the most elusive creature known to humankind and in nearly two years had not been able to flesh out the smallest of details about her. Little did I know that the following day would bring all of this to an abrupt end?


The morning began like any other, I got my tea and she got her coffee. “Good morning, Abby.” She said with no enthusiasm or smile that I had grown used to. “G’morning.” I smiled. She concentrated on stirring her cream into her coffee with a frown and crease in her forehead. She looked dazed and expressionless as she headed out of the break room. Ah! This woman was impossible!  What was she upset about? That was it! I had to know. I caught up with her in the hallway, “Rowan?”


She turned and looked at me. There were tears in her red eyes that made the light blue look even bluer. “What’s wrong?” I asked.


“I’m leaving.” She exhaled and turned and started to walk away.


“Wait! Why?” I called and caught up with her and kept pace beside her.


She shook her head, “Things just didn’t work out here. I don’t fit it in. I hate this city!” she hissed.


My heart sank. Inside I was screaming, “No! You can’t just leave! Tell me everything before I go mad!”


“Did something happen?” I pleaded.


“No.” she rounded the corner to her cubicle. An open box sat her chair. She began tossing items into it with one hand sipping her coffee with the other as tears fell down her face.


“Rowan, please? Why are you leaving?” I begged.


“The traffic sucks so bad here!” She sobbed, ripping down her painting prints and tossing them into the trash. “The taxes here are ******* ridiculous!” She held up a white teddy bear and handed it to me. “Do you want it?”


I took the bear. “So the traffic and taxes are making you this upset?”


“Well, in Ohio you don’t pay property tax on your car and you only get your car inspected every other year. And you don’t pay tax on groceries.” She was talking fast through her sobs and was almost inaudible. She put the last flowers that had come for her, crumbling and dead, vase and all into the trash and collapsed sobbing into her chair. ‘My girlfriend cheated on me” She sighed wiping her from her cheeks and seeming to calm down. “It was some ***** name April!” She smiled humorlessly and shook her head. “The ***** is 21, has long blonde hair, huge ****, has perfectly straight white teeth, and weighs about 115 pounds!” She shrugged and then looked at me with a puckered lower lip, tear stained red eyes around the ocean blue. “Her daddy owns a bunch of upscale restaurants and she is loaded! How can I compete with that?”


“You don’t have to.” I put my hand on her knee.


I told the boss that she had just learned of a death in her family and that I needed to take her home. I took her to my house. She unraveled every mystery for me as I comforted her. She undressed her soul before me, for which I was honored. She fell asleep in my arms with a blanket tucked around us and the cats at her feet. She was, after all, a cat person like me.

Aw8ingf8 Aw8ingf8
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 5, 2010

Ha ha! Coming soon! ;)

Pumpkin, this was one of those fun to write let it go as far as you type things. I may have to include my perfect sex scene in my next story. THAT will be a blast to write. =]

Thanks wScars! Usually, if there's a choice I prefer for there to be sex but eh! It made it sweet that they fell asleep together. :)

*Smiles* I know it's kind of narcissistic to want someone to feel this way about me but I do. Also, the person who has a crush on me seems lonely and needing of love. She thinks I'm perfect which is what I need since I usually get cheated on & the other woman is always like a super model. It was too long to make sex happen! LOL