Sister To A Brother

My older sister came out to my younger sister, my mother and I individually a couple of years ago as gay. We have all been completely supportive and adore her girlfriend, who is very nice and sweet, and fun to have around. For a while I guess I thought that's all it would be, but I started to notice changes.

At a family dinner, I saw her for the first time in a couple months and was shocked at the amount of weight she had put on, her shoulders and arms looked much larger, and when she started to talk to me it was all i could do not to drop my jaw at the sound of her voice. Clearly, she had been taking hormones. I wondered if anyone else had noticed, because she'd always dressed "boyish." I asked if she had a cold, and she just kind fo gave me this funny look and said no. I didn't know what to think.

Weeks later, she told my mother that she felt she had been born in the wrong body, and wanted to completely change genders. My mother was devastated, and cried to me the next morning about how bizarre and unnatural it was. She wanted to know what she did wrong to make her daughter feel like she was in the wrong body. I tried to explain to her that a lot of people go through this, they can't help it. But i think she looks at it as if her daughter died in a way, and this tomboy version of her took her place.

My sister does not go by her given name anymore, and I think that's been the hardest part for all of us. It made it so official, and like there was no turning back.

Sometimes, I get angry with her. I don't understand why she's decided to do this, when her whole life shes been wishy washy and afraid of commitment to anything, be it school, a job, or anything else. I don't know if I've processed it all. But I also think maybe that's the reason why she's never tried for anything-maybe she felt like she wasn't living the life she was supposed to live.

Right now, I just want her to be happy. But I don't know how to act around her,...what to call her, how to get used to this new person that I don't know. Hopefully it'll get easier with time. I do love her, and I think that's all that really matters.
lostinapril lostinapril
18-21, F
1 Response May 11, 2012

I know it is hard, but support, acceptance and love is all your "brother" now wants. He is the same person he always was so why the struggle? Gender Identity Disorder (GID)is awful, when our minds and bodies do not agree.I am a trans woman so I do understand how your brother feels. The only way I could explain it is to say, feeling the way you do about yourself as a woman, imagine you had a male body! The thought is no doubt awful. <br />
I suggest you do some reading on the internet under gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria.

thank you! I definitely plan to educate myself more :)