My Brother Has Aspergers Too.........

So glad I found this website, I am trying to find other siblings who are that bit older as the care seems to fall on us, seems no one remembers we need support.

All my life I have supported my brother one way or another, I call him the second child I never asked for, cos that's what he is and no one asked me if I minded......

He is 44 I am 49....always knew there was something wrong as a child but it was always ignored, no one addressed the matter, head in the sand attitude and Mum hasn't changed, unfortunately it's left for me to deal with now and I feel resentful.

OK so we have gone from crisis to crisis, curently going through one right now. Cut a long story short he was mis diagnosed with schizophrenia  at age 17 (do you hear voices? An Aspie will answer yes to this....). Mum and Dad cared for him at home, he's never had a job. They ignored his health problems and he ended up in hospital, he was on so many meds my Mum couldn't manage so I had to find him some care. So I got him supported living accommodation, after 4 years this broke down, they couldn't manage his behaviour, so he was admitted to a hospital environment, where he is today.
He's been there 15 months and is about to move into single supported living accommodation but the last 3 weeks he's become psychotic and I am not sure where were heading now.

All my life we have gone through one turmoil to another and I am left to pick up the pieces and there is no support for me. Through this I have my own family and a job to hold down. It's hard....

I'd love to hear from others in a similar situation, we never asked for this did we?

gillybean129 gillybean129
3 Responses Mar 29, 2011

I know how you feel, no, we didn't ask for this.

I'm a 2 1/2 year olde sister of a brother with aspergers, and of course extreme aggression. It's not easy and Most of the times it's downright infuriating. Our parents and everyone else gives the understandibly needed attention to the child with aspergers, while we get shunted to the side without anyone thinking we may need to talk to someone too.

I would love to get to talk to you, I just started a blog about the siblings of aspergers today and there's a chat room link on there, and here's the link for the actual blog if you want to check it out :)

-Parker Rae

i have an older brother who has aspergers syndrome who is 32 and only 18 months older than me. I have lookd out for him all the way through my school years and i'm ashamed to say that i have buried my head in the sand when he's not around i love him very much but it hurts me deeply when my mum tells me of his suicidal thoughts and self harm. I feel like the oldest child and i do worry that his care will fall on me although he is in a flat of his own but not coping very well at the moment. I don't know how to deal with it. He wasn't diagnosd until he was 26 so he didn't get the support he should have and neither did i or my younger brother. <br />
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here is wishing for a good future for all x x

Hi,<br />
<br />
I'm not quite in your position (yet) as we are very much in my family at the beinging of the road with my brother. I do fear/expect that as the family members who care for my brother now get older that this will fall to me. It is very hard. Half my family won't admit that he has aspergers (cause they'd have to face themselves!) and the other half are all involved and worn out by it. There is some expectation that my brother should 'man up' or 'just be more considerate' or 'get himself together.' Well as I'm sure you know, its just not that simple is it? When you were growing up were you just expected to be ok because you were the 'normal' one? <br />
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Anyway, you are not alone!