I Have a Sibling With Aspergers Syndrome
From downstairs I could hear them arguing again. My mother and my brother argue all the time for many reasons but the main cause is because my brother has Aspergers. So anyway, I fould this website as a result of a google search 'how to cope with an aspergers sibling'. That was about 10 minutes ago. I don't know why I feel compelled to write my story, but here it goes...
My brother; the boy who read me stories when I couldn't sleep, the boy who taught me how to do my first flip on our trampoline, and the boy who drives my family apart. He is 18 years old, and he has regressed to an almost childlike state these days. As you can imagine, this brings a huge amount of stress on my parents which then causes arguments between them two which then causes stress for me. I really try not to make it about me, I don't want it to be about me, not that I could tell them how this affects me anyway. I'm not great at the whole 'lets talk about feelings' stuff and neither are they. They're pretty distant as parents go.
My brother left school at around 14 (I can't remember) without any qualifications because he couldn't cope with the constant bullying he suffered from everyday, just because he wasn't like everyone else. I feel awful because sometimes, I'd wish he'd just be 'normal' at school as I had to take some of his torment also. At that time, we didn't know he had aspergers - I just thought he 'had issues'. So now he stays at home all day, everyday. He never leaves he house and I really mean never, I think he's left the house about 3 times in the past few years. Yes years. But even more shocking is the fact that he doesn't leaev his bedroom, except to use the bathroom or to get a snack (he won't make himself meals) from the kitchen. All my brother cares about is playing computer games. We've tried to limit his use, but this usually leads to shouting and physical violence (yes, he has attacked my mother and myslef on many occasions. I have stayed awake many countless nights in fear that he would go too far. If only you had seen the pure anger in his eyes.)
He doesn't know how to communicate with anyone properly which obviously leads to misunderstandings and more shouting.
Being totally reliant on other people to do everything for him, is not helping him - even I know that, but my mum just gives into him saying 'he doesn't mean to be like this' I know it's not his fault, I understand that but I just, I just can't be in this environment. I have my own things going on too.
The pressue is too much. My mother and I were watching something on the Tv (whatever it was it slips my mind) and she turned to me and asked me to look after my brother when she's gone. She was crying. I didn't know what to say... I feel awul thinking that I don't want to do that, but I want a life too.
I know that that's all in the future, but I'm only 16, I don't want my future to be decided for me already.
I apologise for how badly this is written.
I'm no expert on this, far from it. I don't know what to do and I certainly don't know how to cope with him. My family have been torn apart. My parents are on the brink of seperation and my brother doesn't even know he has aspergers.
