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The Unofficial Diagnosis

For the holidays my family came together with a few extended members, in which on of the adults - who works with children - spoke about the children she works with. When she described the way they act and behave it described my younger sister to the "T". My parents took the information in and looked into it more after the holidays.

Now months later, I was speaking to my mother about an ignorant comment that she made in front of people that wasn't necessary - and she got upset with me for not defending her. Now it's not like people were cracking jokes or calling her names for what she said - but there was a shared look of "did she really just say that".

My mother then decided to tell me what had occurred during that holiday and the conclusion that the family had come to. Initially, I was pissed because now she has a constant excuse for her behaviour as though she didn't already have it 'easy' prior to receiving this unofficial diagnosis. Not to mention that my mother has forever been over protective of her (even before the family talk), so this could only make things worse. But after actually reading up on it both online and at the bookstore I almost feel confused.

I already have to deal with my own personal issues with my parents, school and work; now I have to be extra sensitive to her and her feelings and emotions? Like the higher expectations from our dad isn't frustrating enough.

I wanted to know if anyone knows where to go to get help dealing with the new found information. I know I am 3 years away from no longer living at home, but now there is an unspoken expectation on me now that I know about what is going on with her.
jazzyp17 jazzyp17 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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Jazzyp17, your story made me wonder if either (or both) of your parents might be Aspies. That was the case with me, I suspect. I’m much older than you, but my parents were very insensitive to my feelings.

My parents were never diagnosed but my mother and I both secretly have agreed that my father has Aspergers. However, I have begun to wonder if my mother doesn’t have it, too! She is not a “typical” mom, that’s for sure, and in some ways it’s a hardship but in other ways it’s funny (now that I don’t live with them anymore).

I think Aspergers presents itself very differently between boys and girls. To me, it seems like it takes whatever “boy traits” are typical and exaggerates them, sometimes beyond belief (like being bossy or mean, or being “into” something like with video games). Likewise, I think it might make girls more self-conscious (even more than they typically are as teenagers) and more obsessed with doing everything right.

I just wondered. It does typically run in families and if you have a sibling with it you might be surprised where else you’ll find it. Learning as much about it as you can might help you figure out what’s going on in the heads of those close to you...just a thought. Hope it gets better for you, sweetie. Hang in there.