I May Have To Grin An Bare It :(

After close to one year after my wife lit our house on fire smoking with oxygen, her health has improved a bit.  She is finally breathing without a respirator to help her breath althoguh still on oxygen.  Normally that woudl be good news but I am now afraid, as mean as it may sound, she might come home in a few months.

Far as I can see she still can't get up to go to the bathroom, so you know what that means (diaper) :(, she was sayign there where grasshoppers in the room when we visited her, and I don;t thing she will ever walk again (they removed an aritifical knee to do heart valve repalcement and may not put it back).  Not to mention, Pleeease don't think I'm mean she went from as hot as Marilyn Monroe (well an older version)  to as bad as the woman from the movie "Throw Momma from the Train".

Thing is shes 5 years older than me her being 56 and I'm hanging our with people 10 years younger than me.  So I can start over but if I wait at 60 or later I may turn around and say why didn;t I move on?  But she practically begs me, I want to come home to my family and why throw away a marriage that we've had for 28 years.  I shoudl ask why did you self destruct yourself causing two seizures a barrage of illnesses, bring me close to bankruptcy and close to being thrown in jail for having somethgin to do with the fire she caused with cigarettes.

I think I may have to just let her come home then try to remove myself from the relationship as I can if even possible.  This is my only chance to end it but I just cant be cruel.  Her brother woudl take her in he said.  Donl; know what to do. Any suggestions? 
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1 Response Mar 26, 2012

you dont love her. If you loved her you wouldnt be saying all this. The thought of leaving her for someone else wouldnt have occured to you. I'm not saying its your fault that you dont love her, or if you think about other people. Its normal. We can fall in love with people, we can also fall out of love with them. And you talk about her previous looks like its a big deal for you. I think it is. You still have a lot of life ahead of you. You want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you have to love them unconditionally with no regrets. If you cant satisfy that then leave her. You're not doing her any favours if you stay. Yea in the short term she has you, but she will start to feel at some point that you dont really want to be there. Leaving her will break her heart but, its just how things are. Seems like she caused all this stuff to happen to her from what you said. Shes got to pay the price of her physical issues now. You should move on. <br />
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Thats just my opinion.

I know how you feel we been thru so much also. I feel so alone anymore. I don't even know what to think anymore I'll think of you and hope or the best for you.