On It Goes

My wife has been sick for the last six years.  We have been together for 10 and married for 7.  She has suffered from a variety of illnesses which have affected her liver, kidneys and brain.  I believe that behind it all, she may be suffering from some sort of somatization issue, where her mind does not know how to handle stress, and forces it into her body.  She is seeking psychological treatment for this at the moment.  If this is the issue, it may take 7 years to cure.

Her illness causes her to sleep a lot (18+ hours a day)  It is often very lonely, but I stay because a)  I love her, b)  I am a sucker for punishment, c) I think marriage is sacred.   I often question my decision, but I have decided to stay.  

It is punishing for me, and I have been diagnosed and treated for depression caused by long-term stress that the illness puts me through.  

Through this all, life goes on, and I still hope that one day she will be returned to full health, but until then I am missing out on a lot in this relationship.  


Rabbitrob99 Rabbitrob99
31-35, M
5 Responses Oct 4, 2009

Hi, I have been married to my husband for 3 years and have been sick for the last 18 months with various gastro problems. it is recently all kicking off again and I am about to be signed off from work again- my husband is amazing but I am worried about how I can help support him while he supports me! I would be interested to hear from you about what I may be able to do to help him out? you seem to really love your wife and be very supportive, I too sleep a lot, am on morphine drugs and so am quite spacy and cant drive, I hate having to depend on him and would really like to do as much as I possibly can where I can...any insight you can offer on what he may most appreciate, from someone who has experienced similar challenges, would be great...I have just seen the date on this post but what the hell, I will post anyway!! thanks, Em

My wife of 23 years was recently dx with breast cancer and brain encephalitis...I try to see her twice a day and still feel guilty...she is only 48..I love the hell out of her.....The only thing pulling me through is faith and Special Ops spirit...Never Leave a Comrade Behind

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I hope you and your wife get the treatment you need, it is heartbreaking watching the person you love in pain & distress. <br />
<br />
My husband has been ill for a while now, we have been together for 5 years and just celebrated our second wedding anniversary. <br />
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Something that started as a small annoyance has become an all consuming pain for him, with periods of relief in between but we know that these are temporary and that there isn't any way to stop it altogether. We are gathering information to show his doctors on something called Dercums Disease. And each time we uncover something new it terrifies me for what lies ahead for the kind, brave, wonderful man that I married. There is no cure. The best we can do is to obtain some kind of understanding from his doctors so we can make his life as pain free & happy as possible. <br />
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I know how much he loves me, and that he is scared I will leave him, but I agree with you on the fact that marriage is sacred. I made my vows with full intent to hold true to them, in sickness and in health he still is and will always be the man I love.<br />
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Best wishes for your future. <br />
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You are a wonderful strong person for not taking the easy way out , and I am sure even if she may be to ill to tell you that she is grateful for you staying . I hope everything works out for you